Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health

No but my husband ha to give it up because there was hangover that impacted his ability to think clearly and solve technical problems. I am retired but solving mathematical problems is my major pastime. Loss of mental sharpness would be ashiw stopping side effect

Woohoo.

I am sorry to hear of your sleep problems, @padovani. Not sleeping well can make everything seem worse, can't it?
I see that you have tried antidepressants without much help and you feel that they have increased your stroke risk. Many members on Connect have discussed Trazodone for sleep. Just a small dose (50 mg or less) can make a difference in sleep. You might ask your doctor about Trazodone.
Have you ever tried Trazodone before for sleep?

@merpreb Hi Merry: Thanks for that quote, "The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer."

I'm going to put that on my refrigerator also!

padovani- I am sorry that you feel so all alone. Have you contacted the American Cancer Society? https://www.cancer.org/
They have a lot of services. Does your state have a legal aid? Perhaps you can get some further assistance to help you feel more secure.
Has your doctor advised you to take more meds at all?

My biggest problem is probably that I am older and alone. My family and now friends are gone
I am married and my husband is a nice man but very passive and incapable of even the appearance of confrontation or even disagreement. He is unfortunately for me my power of attorney. Anti depressants have never worked except to put me at risk for stroke.

@padovani- Unfortunately many sleep meds are very addictive. Have you considered taking a long term anti-depressant during the day? I will last all day into the next when you take your next one. Xanax might be wearing off after 4 hours. Sleep habits are difficult to break. I know when I don't get very steady sleep I'm a mess. Without sleep any other problems are exaggerated.

Good sleep habits are very important: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-tools-tips/healthy-sleep-tips

Has anything happened to set this off? Do you have any other problems that can be causing this? Have you spoken to your doctor about it?

@padovani- Welcome to Mayo Connect! I'm sure that you feel all of these things and I wish that you didn't have to! My advice for you right now is to take just one day at a time. Do you know what your treatment will be for your liver cancer? Is it a primary or have they biopsied it?
Here is a link that you might find helpful: https://www.verywellhealth.com/lung-cancer-spread-to-the-liver-2249263

I also never thought that a recurrence would happen. I had changed my life around and was "doing all the right things". Someone needs to redefine that saying.
For the time being, until this is under control do you feel like you would want to ask for medicine to help you get your feelings under control? It might help you see thing more clearly I think. Your denial will come and go but your other feelings will take a bit of time. I love the quote, "The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer." I had to look at this on my refrigerator every day so I might slow down.

I could use some help here. I can not sleep more than four hours any more. I awaken and cannot get back to sleep again. Currently tale low dose xanax but only as needed to get back to sleep. I want no dependencies.

Interesting. I am on my second cancer - fist lung five years ago, now liver. Now there is also breast lesion we are setting aside until we deal with treatment for number two. I had no idea this could even happen. Very depressed, very anxious, very angry, probably in permanent denial. Not suresure how to take any of this.