Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health
It's extremely difficult to face the fact of recurring cancers. After treatments we try and get away from it all and live our life. Then along comes another CT scan or PET scan and POW, you have to face another cancer. My reaction was developing PTSD.
You can read what I wrote in my blog: https://my20yearscancer.com/blog/
How do we cope? How do we react? What do we do?
How have you all reacted to another cancer? Or the possibility of another one? Has your "already compromised" mental health been able to deal with it? How? Or not?
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Cancer: Managing Symptoms Support Group.
@cwm1 I hope you been walking nonstop? I sure was wandering like a lost soul after my double trouble cancer diagnosis. I can relate to the crying, plus I was hyperventilating with the crying. Which I had never hyperventilated before in my life.
I have no siblings or parents left. Just a husband and 2 sons. My sons do not live near me at all..
Have you looked into the Livestrong program at all? They have people that help guide you through the double trouble nightmare maze you are dealing with. They also have a free 12 week YMCA workout program to help you keep your mind distracted with fitness trainers.
They helped me a lot when i could barely get out of bed. I used to think what for? The exercise program was a nice healthy distraction. Another thing I did was meet with a dietitian to help work out a nutritional plan to help focus on. Foods that help starve off Cecum cancer and Follicular Lymphoma.
You need to Focus on you right now. Your body needs you strong and focused to heal yourself.
Take the time to block out your stresses and regroup your strengths to heal.
Can you please let us know how your Dr visit goes on 7/25?
I been bouncing on, and off so I will watch for your post.
Praying for the best for you..
Jackie
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Yes, you are right.
@merpreb Am wishing you the best tomorrow. I will be thinking of you. Thank you for the above words of encouragement. They help. Yes, you make complete and great sense.
@musicflowers4u- I'm very glad that you found strength through a personal experience with a higher power, and your son. There are several ways to learn to cope, if it comes down to that. However, like you, it's always good to have or ask for help if it's available first.
Having to cope with things other than us when we are ill is added stress that many people need to cope with. And we are stronger than we think that we are. But sometimes we do have to start with a hard line and go from there, setting limits, etc. I had to do that. Don't you think that's where we have to start?
@cwm1- Certainly I've seen my share of idiots too! After my first appointment with my first and present surgeon I walked out telling my husband that I didn't like him. My husband said that that wasn't important, just his skills. I've now known him for close to 22 years and love him. He was never and idiot though, just standoffish.
I'm so glad that you found your "medical home." Mine is at MGH as we do not have a Mayo Clinic near us.
We're lucky to have found these excellent doctors. To keep searching for the right ones is certainly worth the search. Don't you agree?
It sounds like you have very competent doctors advising you. I have a friend facing the same situation and her doctors are proceeding carefully for similar reasons. I, too, have small lung nodules bring “watched”. After having one type of cancer, doctors, oncologists, radiologists, are very diligent in analyzing new or existing nodules. They are trained to be suspicious of any changes and nuances that they suspect need a biopsy and leave the benign to diligent watching.
I too “had” elderly parents to attend to and it seemed I was alone in that until I finally reached out to my step-siblings to re-enter their dad’s life. Then there was just mom who was 90 when I was my sickest. My siblings all lived either on the west coast or in the mid-west and one lived in Asia. When asked to help they all were not able. One had passed the previous year with multiple metastatic cancers, another just diagnosed with bladder cancer (which is now metastatic), my significant other had just gone through colon surgery, and then I was diagnosed with Carcinoid Cancer and went through surgery. Luckily one son stepped-up to the plate to help with mom. Less than four months post-surgery, while still trying to arrange meetings with Alzheimer’s agency reps for her future institutional care, mom passed away. I, as her executrix, was the one to settle her estate which included out-of-State property. We get through “the stuff” in life even at the worst times. For me, my reliance was on my God and his son Jesus to guide me. Though others I thought could help but failed to do so, my help came from unexpected sources when I sought that power higher than myself.
You are beautiful. I guess in answer to your question, I live with my “new normal”. Every six months a glimpse into a mystery, hoping there’s no new sign of things developing, being ready to deal with whatever the outcome. But thankful there are oncologists and learning/teaching/research facilities ready to catch “it” before it goes too far. And thankful for blogs such as this which actually was, for me, the first step to a life-saving journey. This is where I first learned of the doctors at Mayo Clinic that diagnosed and surgically removed my Carcinoid Cancer. So, thank you to the brave survivors who share their stories in this way.
@cwm1- Good morning. I hope that this finds you on a sunny beach. You are a super woman and in need of putting your foot down to some of your demands. I can't imagine how you are handling all of this.
First to your cancer- It sounds as if you might have Multifocal Adenocarcinoma of the lung. I have this and have survived 22 years after having many nodules that have come and gone and 4 that needed removal. Hopefully your type of cancer will be large enough to biopsy or the radiologist can tell if it is MAC (Multifocal Adenocarcinoma of the lung).
Your own health should come first but I think that under the present circumstances you need to think this too. If there is no way that you can turn your son out than he should be asked to take up slack by helping care for his grandparents. Your other siblings should also take part in this care. There are planes. It's a tough situation, I know. But you can't do everything and take care of yourself.
How about this, make two lists. One should be your top priorities and ones that you have control over.
Is it possible, that if your son isn't capable of caring for his grandparents, that they or you hire help to lessen your burden? Can you have food delivered for example, house keeping help, anything? The American Cancer Society can help with this, maybe your house of worship?
Then make a list with things that you have no control over- and put them in a drawer and forget about them until things change. I know that it won't stop your worrying about your son, but you have housed and fed him. He's warm and loved. The rest should be up to
Please, please don't assume so many duties-now it's your time to take care of yourself. This is a very difficult time for you and if you haven't asked the rest of your family to help, this is the right time and will help reduce your stress level., don't you think?
Thanks. The reason that they aren’t removing them without a biopsy is that if they are metastatic triple negative breast cancer, removing them isn’t the proper treatment. So they would be removing a portion of my lung for no good reason. If it turns out to be the TNBC, the oncologist and physicians asst. are wonderful and sympathetic. If it turns out to be lung cancer, that's a different story. While I think the oncologist and surgeon are excellent in most ways, I just don’t think the mental aspects of this are their strong suit. But I am going to Mayo Jax and I know the drs there are so far superior to anyone local that there is no question I want to continue with them. I initially started out locally with the breast cancer. They totally missed the lump when they tried to biopsy, did not call with results, and it was a comedy of errors from the getgo. I was so furious and disgruntled that I called Mayo the second I walked in the door after the surgeon appt and never looked back. I did go and see a local psychologist one time. Frankly, I thought he was an idiot. When I thought about it, I should have expected that considering who recommended him.