exercise after surgery

You did the right thing - stop immediately if you feel any twinges or tightening.
Weight lifting - even lighter weights - involves compression of the abdominal muscles. And some of them have been traumatized during the surgery, along with other delicate connective tissue and fascia.
You can easily tear a healing tissue 6 weeks after surgery. I blew out all kinds of things will one episode of straining during a bowel movement and required reparative urethral surgery.
Just be careful, go easy and please remember that your insides have been sliced and diced. I would concentrate more on aerobic exercise - walking on slight incline at various speeds. Breathing harder is a good way to get those abdominal and core muscles up to speed without putting undue, direct stress directly on them.
Also, I found seated weight lifting (overhead presses) with good back support, placed all the stress on my shoulders and I was able to ‘set’ my abdominal muscles more efficiently before each rep. Hope this helps.
Phil

Getting back into the gym for me was a slow(ish) process.
Key was going regularly anyway, it gets much better with time.

caveats....Not a doc, not a trainer...

After six weeks of taking it easy, your body is going to react some even without the new you stuff.

A) There's scar tissue developing in your abdomen, that is tough stuff and it's pulling on your muscles as you start to move again. It will soften up some, and you'll get used to it. I'd go slow on the ab stuff as you get used to it again. Six months (ish) in to the routine, I was fine with the abdominal tightness, no issues there long term. I now do incline crunches, planks, leg lifts with no problem, it'll come back. You really do want to be a little careful here as you can give yourself a hernia. There are some holes healing in your muscle wall!

B) I don't know about other folks on here but when I went back, sitting on those hard benches could be tough particularly on anything that was beveled such as the side benches on a smith machine with pull downs etc.. They were actually a little painful and it was like a "release button" was being pushed for leakage. It took about a month or so for that to go away as well. I would sort of "side saddle" those putting on cheek on it instead of sitting on the middle. I would also use the restroom a few times during my hour-ish routine back then.

C) For cardio, I'm more of a treadmill runner. That was very tough to get back to. This also caused leakage for the first few months that I tried it. I would try regularly, be unable to run without pretty bad leakage, bail and go for very long walks. It took several months to get back to running. I'm back, luckily things are going well in this regard as well.

Two years plus post surgery and SRT, all is well in the fitness regard.

The moral of the story is, be patient with yourself, you've been through a lot! It'll all come back in time, persistence is key here.

Agree with all above: Too aggressive; too early will cause regret.
I focused on walking for weeks. Added very light upper body after 10 - 12 weeks.
Important point mentioned above: Your core is central to supporting your upper and lower lifting, and major surgery has been performed.
However, I found that my core is also a key to continence: When I returned to floor exercises for IT Band syndrome (at home), I could feel the impact or support of my "ass to my abs", and my continence control improved further.
Exercise is an important element in my physical and mental health, however I found that taking it slowly was to my benefit.
think like a 🦥
Best wishes.

I was 70 when I had NS RARP in 06/2024. I'm not a medical professional so what follows is just my layman's experience and thoughts so you should really listen to your care team. That said, here's my experience: When I started back after 6 weeks I took it real easy. No lifts above my head (no shoulder presses nor lat pull downs) because I had already given those up due to shoulder pain years before. Also, I don't do really stressful lifts like deadlifts nor squats, so I'd characterize my lifting routine as light weights, many reps, kind of an "old mans lifting routine". Even so, I found sitting on the small benches (especially the triangle shaped seat on the sitting bench press machine) painful in the perineum, so I didn't do those for a couple more months as that small triangle shaped seat just plain hurt. When it did ease up enough for me to resume the chest machine, I'd lower myself down on the bench very gingerly and kind of lightly support myself with my legs to take some of the weight off my perineum. Also, after a month or so back lifting and as I got confident about lifting and I started lifting heavier weights I had a couple of minor involuntary urine releases when I finally did start pushing harder on a few lifts (which really surprised me because I was otherwise fully continent at that time). Gradually, that all went away. By 4 months or so after I started back lifting I was completely back to a normal lifting routine except for some continuing sensitivity in the perineum that slowly went away. At 1 year I'm fully back to normal in the gym. But the perineum pain really took a while to go away for me. I agree with the other commentors to listen to your body and take it easy and increase it slowly. I took my time getting back to normal in the gym and I think it helped give my body time to heal up. Best wishes.

ok thanks for that insight, super helpful

Yes, listen to your body. Definitely challenge yourself a little on your good days to expand the envelope, but respect the not-so-good days and never, ever push through pain. Your body is different now, and pushing too hard can send you off an energy cliff that will set you back days, weeks, or even longer. Recovery days are as important as exercise days, and you may need more of them than you used to. But slow and steady can still win the race.

I am a regular gym goer also. Eight weeks after my RALP I got back in the gym to do my pelvic floor exercises prescribed by my pelvic floor physical therapist. My Urologist prescribed this at my request as I wasn't sure if I was doing my kegels correctly. These pelvic floor exercises were light weight and an excellent way to get back in the gym. After a month of that I worked some of my old routine in with the pelvic floor exercises. If I felt any belly twinge or tightness with my weights I immediately backed off. Not a runner anymore because of knees but walking treadmill was no issue. You're right it is important mentally to get back to the workouts imo. Just don't push it.