Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?

It's wonderful to hear that your lab work came back normal—definitely a win! I completely understand how anxiety can build up around scans, and you're right, everyone experiences these moments differently. It's great that your dog brings you comfort—pets can be such a calming presence. Meditation apps can be really helpful when anxiety strikes, and it might be worth exploring if you haven’t already. Stay strong, and don't feel pressured to react in the same way as others—everyone’s journey is unique.

Wonderful write up , and oh so very true ! Big Hug To You !!!!

thank you for sharing, I am in the same boat, although I didn't receive radiation, which let's be honest puts you ahead of me in treatment. After reading on here, I'm in no hurry to go that route. I'm 17 months in and every day is a fight. I used to have "good" days but lately it's been a struggle. I know I need to shake it off and bounce back. When having a good day, body is still beat up from fatigue but my head is in a good place. It sure does help reading of others battling through this. Best to all.

I have stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer too. My wife asks me all the time - "Where is your head". It s obvious when I am upset because I become quiet and closed off in my own head. I've been fighting this now for 27 months. I have PTSD from the bone pain I suffering in the beginning. I never want to experience that again and it scares me more than dying. Most days I do fine. What is fine when you are facing stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer? I guess it is accepting that this is a new normal for my life. I feel good that I fought very hard in the beginning by taking radiation to my back and ribs, ADT, Darolutamide, followed by 10 chemotherapy treatments. I as able to endure more treatment then most men can handle and it has payed off. But, there was a price to pay. 10 chemo treatments has taken a very long time to recover. Radiation the worst. It is hard when I get a simple infection, lay me out. But I keep going. I get up and go to work everyday to provide for my family. I live as normal a life as I can. I accept I am not 6"1 238lbs of muscle anymore. I am thinner with les muscle. But, I can work, I can play, I have my family and I have Jesus. I get my strength through Jesus. But, there are some days I do get down, but I keep going and believing I will have a full life despite this horrible disease. Find a purpose in life. Find or restart a hobby. As for me, I used to be a pretty good Jazz Guitar player. I'm trying to work my way back. Puzzles are also helpful too. God Bless everyone. Praying for your healing.

When I started treatment in April, I was given a survey about my mental health. After that, no one has ever asked me about it again. There's really no follow up of any kind and I go to a MAJOR cancer center that's considered one of the Top 5 in the country--I can't imagine what it's like elsewhere. For example, I have prostate cancer and was treated with radiation.

Beforehand, I had minor surgery to insert Fiducial Markers for beam tracking. It hurt a lot the next couple of days. Even a brief call from a nurse to say "hey, how are you feeling after surgery yesterday" would have been meaningful.

Same thing after finishing radiation. My first follow-up isn't until the end of this month, three months later. They've been responsive when I contact them about side effects but it would be nice to feel I'm more than just a datapoint on a nomogram.

I understand you are tired of the fatigue. I went through about 18 months of it with all my medication trials. Just try to find the good in each day.

thanks so much to all of you, I know I'm not the only one but sure does help when you can read of others. I'm stage 4 prostate. I remind myself it's been 17 months and I'm still going forward. It just wears you down, my biggest side effect from meds is fatigue. I get it, it's better then the pain I had before starting treatment but doesn't mean that all is okay now. And yes, waiting for lab results each month gets your attention. I understand we need to fight through this every day and it's surely not an easy thing to do. I wish the best to all on this journey.

All of these comments have been so much of a relief for me to read. A carotid body paragangluoma was discovered on my carotid artery in my neck 3+ mos ago. I spent last wk at Mayo getting scans, pokes, consults. Having actually gotten to the point of being seen & eval'd at Mayo helped alot. All surgeons agree my neck tumor is small & benign. But, I had a full body scan while there, and a 5.1 cm mass was found on my left kidney, along w a 2+cm mass on the opposite side of same kidney. Have telehealth mtg this week w endocrine surgeon who ordered and found the kidney problem, then returning in 3 wks to an appt in the renal arena.
I have a large support group of friends and relatives, especially my husband and my siblings. You all are so right, that someday you want to hide and cry; someday you want hugs; generally when folks ask how you're doing, my response is, -ok', cuz the real answer is LONG. Everyone at Mayo was aware I was tense and stressed. A radiology tech asked how I'm really doing, and I said "weepy someday, scared everyday, it's so much. I feel weak for occasionally being such a crybaby." She told me crying is ok and all my emotions are normal; it's a tool the body uses to release anxiety." 2 days later, at my CT w contrast scan for the new kidney find, a tech asked me how I was really doing. I'm not an overly religious person, but I told them when I heard "benign benign, benign" from 3 surgeons, I said, "Thank you, Jesus" out loud. 🙂 He asked if I'd like him to pray with me; at this point I'll accept all I can get. His prayer words were heart-felt, and not long. Both my husband and I so felt the love at Mayo.
Thank you all for letting me know I'm normal to be crying sometimes. Hang in there, friends!

@loribm thank you for your response ! Being at the beach in the sun and hearing the waves, listening to it rain. I'm gonna take your advice and try to think positive thoughts! I'm just so use to thinking negative not getting my hopes up that something good will happen ( childhood trauma) and when something good happens or I'm surprised at the result, I'm happy!! That way I don't get my hopes up ! And im now in the intermediate risk group per labs that I may need treatment between 1-5 years. But im gonna try. I like that thinking. Someone else in a post said they act like it never happened. I've started that also! Slow progress!

@dani349, I promise you’re not alone here and I wish I could reach through the computer to wrap you in a huge hug to help calm you. And I’m a great hugger! So please take a slow, deep breath and then exhale even more slowly through your lips. I’ve got you.
I think most of us are scared of the unknown, especially when we get a diagnosis with the word cancer in it. I don’t know about you, but I’m unfortunately very good at telling myself stories. I can fill my brain with all the worst case scenarios and they just never come true! What a waste of time and energy!
So I’ve learned over the years to not let my mind wander into that negative self talk. Because those dark thoughts are “What If” thoughts. And they are just absolutely wasted time and stress inducers. So my approach is If/Then. If something happens, then I’ll deal with it head on. Or I ask myself, “What if everything turns out great?”. We have that ability to change the self talk, change the narrative in our heads.
I’ve looked back on your initial post to see that you’ve been diagnosed with CLL/SLL. Blood cancer is my area of experience so I’d like to respond to your post in that thread and hopefully offer you some reassuring information about your condition. Both are very slow to develop. From my understanding it’s typically curable or manageable with treatment and can go many years before it even progresses.

Please meet me over here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1042622/

What are things that bring you joy every day, Dani?