Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment
While I was diagnosed in Dec. 2019, chemo, cancer surgery, and four more surgeries took place over the next 2 1/2 years (one of which was a second cancer surgery). I'm 6 weeks out from my last surgery, feeling somewhat normal physically, but wading through the emotional aftermath. "What just happened to me?" I told my husband that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years trying to stay alive - and I'm exhausted. Exaggerated emotions with up-and-down mood swings. . . I find myself yearning for that sense of emotional equilibrium I had before this all began. I'm doing my best to give myself time for this part of the healing - but I find myself weary. Family and friends look at me like I'm fine now, and the trauma has passed - but the truth is, I am not fine on the inside. It's as if my body is trying to reboot emotionally, and its short-circuiting a bit. I am so goal-oriented. . . if I just had that "magic" date of when everything would be normal again, I could focus on that; but it doesn't work that way. I have to be patient with this portion of the healing - and I'm finding that hard. What are others' experiences with this? How long does it take for your emotions to settle from the trauma of breast cancer?
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.
For me, I think it is something you just have to live with. I equate it to someone having a horrible experience and never being able to forget it. I have had BC twice and all that goes with it. Just the thought it can happen again is horrible. People who have never had breast cancer do not understand. Or people that have had any kind of cancer or even a bad disease probably would understand. I think you could call it breast cancer PTSD. It’s always there. The positive thing of all this is that you made it and you can do it again if needed. Just be thankful for the good days and good times to come.
Thank you for your post. I found it inspiring.
Thank you, prayers for us all.
I'm happy that your condition is stable! Just take one day at a time and keep that beautiful smile. You have lots of sisters here to listen and cheer for you. My MRI result came back clear. Thank God! We might not find the new us, but I'm glad I found this website. We're are here for one another and it gives me some sense of normalcy. Knowing that I'm not the only who feel this way is like finding the calmness in the chaos. Wish you all the best. Hugs.
Still trying to find the new me again. Since I have been stable since my last Enhertu treatment in July 2023, my Oncologist and Oncology Cardiologist think I should hold off on taking Lapatinib and Xeloda. My tumor markers ca 27.29 ca 13.5 are very low and CT & NBM scan show no progression.
Thank you for your response. Yes, good idea speaking gratitudes out loud. There is a lot to be grateful for; so easy to forget. I’m grateful for your letter. Kisses to your doggos. ❤️
@sharon35981 I grieved my former life, too - and at times, still do, but it's more of that ache now, and not so debilitating and cloudy as grief can sometimes be. And I began to say my thankful list out loud. It helped me to hear the truth of those words, in my own voice. Believing it began slowly, and then my mind followed suit and accepted those words as facts. 🙂
I love that you are playing the piano. I did that, too. And dogs? Hooray for you. I have a host of them. 🙂 Big hugs.
Thank you so much for your thoughts. Yes, we can be grateful for better treatments today than during our grandmothers’ time. My dog is a service dog—mobility and balance. I might do better in a few months as I now have a new knee and hip. Your letter is a blessing in my life. Thank you ❤️
Thank you so much for your heartfelt letter. I nodded “yes” all throughout your thoughts. I find that forgiveness—letting go—that I got BC (February 2021) is a practice; a moment to moment thing. Hard for me to do.
And then there’s gratitude. Sigh . . . I’m a work in progress. My last three Signatera blood tests were negative.
One of my joys before BC (in 2020) was playing the piano. Yesterday I started again.
Had my knee replaced in September 21 and hip in December 23. The dog is my service dog. Something else to be grateful for. I’m grateful for you and your wisdom. ❤️
You look like such a young beautiful woman, I hope you won’t let BC dim that light. There are many things to grieve in cancer, but there is much to be grateful for as well.
When my grandmother got the diagnosis, they said “we can try” and “ not much success” and she died. She just didn’t have the benefit of the treatments we have today. I remind myself that although chemo and AI aren’t a walk in the park, cancer comes with some real side effects too.
Dr. Susan Love once said there are two kinds of women “those who have breast cancer and those terrified of getting it”. I would add one more, those trying to live with the fear of recurrence and still trying to live. I find that talking here with others really does help.
@rhongirl really has some great thoughts on this. I love how she mentions not letting worry about tomorrow, steal today.
PS. Love the wrinkles pooch❣️