Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

Yes!!! And let's add on the fear of reccurence. I'm 1 year out of diagnosis. BC still consumes my thoughts. I feel so different than I did before I got it. I tell people I'm doing good, but inside my head is another story.

YES! I went through lumpectomy, 4 rounds of chemo, 19 radiation session, breast reduction surgery and lived with the illusion that that would be it. Now I am close to finish the second year of Anastrosole and decided that after two injection of Prolia I kind of had it. I will see my oncologist end of the month to discuss the Prolia as I have server pain in joints and back and hardly could walk the last 5 month. The second injection was worse than the first one. I totally feel you, sister - it is now accepting the new you, but I am over accepting the constant pain and tiredness. I mostly worked during chemo and radiation, but now take here and there a day off work just to sleep. A lot of exercises and positive self talk. Keep in touch.

Is it strange that I feel like the double mastectomies, reconstruction and radiation were “easier” than living with the daily letrozole and monthly lupron? I felt like with surgery and recovery I was actively fighting something. Now I feel like accepting this new life of feeling tired and having bone joint pain at the young age of 50 is more difficult than the the pains of breast surgery and abdominal surgery. Anyone out there feel the same?

Thankful for this group and you all sharing your experiences. This is my support group! As I don't have an in person one nearby, my hospital is 90 minutes away.
I totally relate to this post and the trauma of this disease. Did not see this coming at all. No friends with BC no idea how to move forward etc. no family except my supportive husband.
Since 2010 life has been tumultuous.
Learning to pretend to be ok is my greatest skill.
But having the freedom and support to speak freely about this experience to those who understand is so therapeutic.
Sending you all healing thoughts and yes, take it a day at a time.

Here is the website for EMDR. Go to the menu and click on “find a clinician” to find someone near you. Some of the clinicians are doing it via telehealth as well.
https://www.emdr.com/

I just completed all my treatment for triple negative bc. I have been seeing a therapist to deal with the emotional aftermath. She recommended that I find someone who does EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing). It is a treatment that combines bilateral eye movement with traumatic memories and allows the brain to move the memories to the pre-frontal cortex where they are easier to process.
I have done it and I cannot believe how healing it was for me! I can think about my diagnosis and treatment now with a detachment that makes it easier!! Highly recommend! There is a website where you can find EMDR certified therapists in your area.

Thank you for speaking the difficult out loud. It is particularly appropriate for me today!

@ auntieaokley. I found myself wandering over the posts again with this topic. This is such an up-and-down business of dealing with the aftermath of breast cancer. I get to a place where I am so engaged with life, that the emotional leftovers are tucked away for the time being, yet truly not going away. I didn't notice, or perhaps it didn't sink in enough the first time I read your reply here, "I am 20 years from my original diagnosis and I can't say I have every really just moved past it. . " It's like these leftovers almost threaten to chip away at the progress we can make (emotionally) after breast cancer.

I was finding myself more easily hurt and/or irritated by things others would say (or not say), and recognizing that subtle depressed mood underneath, so I took inventory again. On the outside, I still look normal to others (I am so highly functional with life). But on the inside - things still remain a different story. Before my breast cancer diagnosis, I had had a stretch of medical challenges that had gone on for a number of years prior. A couple major accidents, one leaving me with a surgery and a lot of recovery time. . . a 6-month illness . . . and then I rolled into breast cancer, followed by endometrial cancer. Though I'm approaching my 4-year cancer-free appt, things have felt relentless for almost ten years. So, it's normal to feel so tired underneath it all! But I don't like this emotional limping I'm still doing. The limping has been noticeably affecting my physical being (disrupted sleep, lower energy, lack of regular exercise, weight gain [and isn't that a guilt and shame factor for a cancer survivor], irritability). One morning, I told myself that I needed to address this more fully.

I made the call to start seeing a psychologist for regular therapy. Though I find these sessions to be hard work (having to bring-to-the-front these pieces of emotional aftermath), the asking myself to talk about how I feel about everything has been good for me. I'm in a safe space with a professional who is genuinely trying to help me process what's leftover, and work to move through this stage of the breast cancer journey - into a life that is not just appears productive, wonderful, and fulfilling, but one that IS all that on the inside. It surely is a process of learning.

Thanks, Chris, for reminding me (and us all) that this is an ongoing thing - that we can continue to move forward in healthy ways as we live our new normal. One foot in front of the other. :).

Being sick or diseased or incapacitated by trauma certainly is source of what we now term PTSD. At least, we acknowledge our distress and know we have special coping to do. No pretending otherwise. But in fact, a huge percentage of us humans live with these traumas. It’s almost more normal than to be whole and well! We help each other in our own new normal. Sending hugs to all.

Hi
I totally relate to what you are saying and I'm only in the beginning stages of this. 2 years ago I had a fracture in my spine and my sleep had no idea I had osteopenia so was having treatments for that then had my follow-up mammogram last October where they found a thickening long story short I have my first surgery December 15th lumpectomy pathology showed some invasive cancer had my second surgery two weeks ago they had to take out some glands only one thank God but my body is just reeling from two surgeries emotionally I'm having a difficult time relating to the fact I have cancer and I also have fibromyalgia so it's like my body's been in two car accidents in 2 months. People look at you and think you're okay but they have no idea like you said of the trauma and emotional roller coaster we ride going through this. Thank you for sharing your feelings