Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment
While I was diagnosed in Dec. 2019, chemo, cancer surgery, and four more surgeries took place over the next 2 1/2 years (one of which was a second cancer surgery). I'm 6 weeks out from my last surgery, feeling somewhat normal physically, but wading through the emotional aftermath. "What just happened to me?" I told my husband that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years trying to stay alive - and I'm exhausted. Exaggerated emotions with up-and-down mood swings. . . I find myself yearning for that sense of emotional equilibrium I had before this all began. I'm doing my best to give myself time for this part of the healing - but I find myself weary. Family and friends look at me like I'm fine now, and the trauma has passed - but the truth is, I am not fine on the inside. It's as if my body is trying to reboot emotionally, and its short-circuiting a bit. I am so goal-oriented. . . if I just had that "magic" date of when everything would be normal again, I could focus on that; but it doesn't work that way. I have to be patient with this portion of the healing - and I'm finding that hard. What are others' experiences with this? How long does it take for your emotions to settle from the trauma of breast cancer?
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.
Oh, @kimann , our journeys can be so taxing. . . I'm sorry you've had to go through this again. I'm glad to hear you are back at work, and feeling better physically. And what a boost that your hair is growing back. :). I remember my spirits lifting when mine began to fill in.
I understand putting a smile on. . . we almost think we have to wear one, for others' benefit, and sometimes for our own. It can be good medicine for our soul to try to smile, especially when it is in response to focusing on those things that are good, true, honorable, and praiseworthy. Getting our mind in the game is most of the battle . . . and the smiles follow. I just love it when I have a good day, forgetting about the cancer.
The only thing certain for me is remembering that God holds my days. When I focus on that, I can settle on the inside - at least for a time. Bouts of infection, fatigue, and healing scars all remind me of where I've been and that things are not the same as they were before. It's a process of letting all that go. . . . one that I'm still working on. In the meantime, it helps to talk with and listen to others. I'm grateful for a safe space to share these thoughts with those who understand.
Have a great day @kimann
@rhongirl - Yes, telehealth would be perfect for you!
Most health insurances offer it, I think.
Thank you! Thank you for your comment!!! I too had breast cancer 8 years ago, 2 years ago and a reoccurrence last year! I went through a bilateral mastectomy this time! No implants this time. I want to be done! I have had 7 surgeries in 8 years. 5 years of tamoxifen. 6 months of chemo, 3 weeks of radiation and will have 5 months of a maintenance chemo drug. I am back to work, my hair is growing back and feeling much better. But emotionally-I need help. I am going through the day with a smile on my face, but I wish I could know for certain that I am done with this!!!
I 💗 “30 years ago”!
I sometimes liken our cancer journey to having a baby.
If you’ve had a baby you know that both your body and your mind needs time to adjust to the new normal. ♥️
Thank you for your comments @astaingegerdm I do understand the people tiring of listening. . . . I've made a point to not speak of the journey to those close to me for that reason - and I think to my detriment. Seeking out a therapist who deals with those after cancer might be a really good idea. We live in a small, rural area, so this is not readily available - but perhaps telehealth might be a good alternative. Balance will happen. 🙂 it's just the getting there again.
Thank you for our comments, @eku Some days I can manage the new "normal" and some days I need more practice. It sincerely helps to know I am not alone. ;).
Thank you eku for your comments. I was about to respond but after reading your comment, I couldn't have stated my feelings better. I'm in my head all the time, experiencing repeating emotions, feelings and thoughts that are absolutely exhausting me physically and emotionally. It is so very difficult. Don't ever give up on yourself rhongirl, this world needs you.
@rhongirl -
Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect!
As you can see, there are many of us out there that have been through the breast cancer roller coaster.
I’m not surprised that you feel the way you do. We all deal with the emotional healing differently.
I think it’s important to talk about it, sometimes over and over- similar to when you mourn the death of a dear one.
However, people who have not gone through this tire of listening after a while.
This is a good place to talk.
I had mastectomy and chemo 30 years ago.
I didn’t ask for help dealing with it- pretending I was strong.
I noticed that other women had social workers visit with them when they had chemo. Somehow I thought I wasn’t approached because I was a doctor working at that hospital.
When I was done with chemo I was surprised that I felt depressed instead of relieved. I then realized that I went into instant menopause from the chemo. What a mess!
What I should have done then was to see a therapist used to dealing with these issues.
That’s my advice to you- others offer other ways to reach a balance again. You will be okay again.
Hoping you can read the article below that I posted, by just clicking on it. If not, try a copy and paste into your browser.
I’m glad you’ve joined us on this website message board. We’re all in this together and the support from everyone is wonderful!
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/10/176194/life-after-breast-cancer-survivor-story