Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

@ auntieaokley. I found myself wandering over the posts again with this topic. This is such an up-and-down business of dealing with the aftermath of breast cancer. I get to a place where I am so engaged with life, that the emotional leftovers are tucked away for the time being, yet truly not going away. I didn't notice, or perhaps it didn't sink in enough the first time I read your reply here, "I am 20 years from my original diagnosis and I can't say I have every really just moved past it. . " It's like these leftovers almost threaten to chip away at the progress we can make (emotionally) after breast cancer.

I was finding myself more easily hurt and/or irritated by things others would say (or not say), and recognizing that subtle depressed mood underneath, so I took inventory again. On the outside, I still look normal to others (I am so highly functional with life). But on the inside - things still remain a different story. Before my breast cancer diagnosis, I had had a stretch of medical challenges that had gone on for a number of years prior. A couple major accidents, one leaving me with a surgery and a lot of recovery time. . . a 6-month illness . . . and then I rolled into breast cancer, followed by endometrial cancer. Though I'm approaching my 4-year cancer-free appt, things have felt relentless for almost ten years. So, it's normal to feel so tired underneath it all! But I don't like this emotional limping I'm still doing. The limping has been noticeably affecting my physical being (disrupted sleep, lower energy, lack of regular exercise, weight gain [and isn't that a guilt and shame factor for a cancer survivor], irritability). One morning, I told myself that I needed to address this more fully.

I made the call to start seeing a psychologist for regular therapy. Though I find these sessions to be hard work (having to bring-to-the-front these pieces of emotional aftermath), the asking myself to talk about how I feel about everything has been good for me. I'm in a safe space with a professional who is genuinely trying to help me process what's leftover, and work to move through this stage of the breast cancer journey - into a life that is not just appears productive, wonderful, and fulfilling, but one that IS all that on the inside. It surely is a process of learning.

Thanks, Chris, for reminding me (and us all) that this is an ongoing thing - that we can continue to move forward in healthy ways as we live our new normal. One foot in front of the other. :).

Being sick or diseased or incapacitated by trauma certainly is source of what we now term PTSD. At least, we acknowledge our distress and know we have special coping to do. No pretending otherwise. But in fact, a huge percentage of us humans live with these traumas. It’s almost more normal than to be whole and well! We help each other in our own new normal. Sending hugs to all.

Hi
I totally relate to what you are saying and I'm only in the beginning stages of this. 2 years ago I had a fracture in my spine and my sleep had no idea I had osteopenia so was having treatments for that then had my follow-up mammogram last October where they found a thickening long story short I have my first surgery December 15th lumpectomy pathology showed some invasive cancer had my second surgery two weeks ago they had to take out some glands only one thank God but my body is just reeling from two surgeries emotionally I'm having a difficult time relating to the fact I have cancer and I also have fibromyalgia so it's like my body's been in two car accidents in 2 months. People look at you and think you're okay but they have no idea like you said of the trauma and emotional roller coaster we ride going through this. Thank you for sharing your feelings

For me, I think it is something you just have to live with. I equate it to someone having a horrible experience and never being able to forget it. I have had BC twice and all that goes with it. Just the thought it can happen again is horrible. People who have never had breast cancer do not understand. Or people that have had any kind of cancer or even a bad disease probably would understand. I think you could call it breast cancer PTSD. It’s always there. The positive thing of all this is that you made it and you can do it again if needed. Just be thankful for the good days and good times to come.

Thank you for your post. I found it inspiring.

Thank you, prayers for us all.

I'm happy that your condition is stable! Just take one day at a time and keep that beautiful smile. You have lots of sisters here to listen and cheer for you. My MRI result came back clear. Thank God! We might not find the new us, but I'm glad I found this website. We're are here for one another and it gives me some sense of normalcy. Knowing that I'm not the only who feel this way is like finding the calmness in the chaos. Wish you all the best. Hugs.

Still trying to find the new me again. Since I have been stable since my last Enhertu treatment in July 2023, my Oncologist and Oncology Cardiologist think I should hold off on taking Lapatinib and Xeloda. My tumor markers ca 27.29 ca 13.5 are very low and CT & NBM scan show no progression.

Thank you for your response. Yes, good idea speaking gratitudes out loud. There is a lot to be grateful for; so easy to forget. I’m grateful for your letter. Kisses to your doggos. ❤️

@sharon35981 I grieved my former life, too - and at times, still do, but it's more of that ache now, and not so debilitating and cloudy as grief can sometimes be. And I began to say my thankful list out loud. It helped me to hear the truth of those words, in my own voice. Believing it began slowly, and then my mind followed suit and accepted those words as facts. 🙂

I love that you are playing the piano. I did that, too. And dogs? Hooray for you. I have a host of them. 🙂 Big hugs.