1. < Breast Cancer

Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

Posted by rhongirl @rhongirl, Aug 23, 2022

While I was diagnosed in Dec. 2019, chemo, cancer surgery, and four more surgeries took place over the next 2 1/2 years (one of which was a second cancer surgery). I'm 6 weeks out from my last surgery, feeling somewhat normal physically, but wading through the emotional aftermath. "What just happened to me?" I told my husband that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years trying to stay alive – and I'm exhausted. Exaggerated emotions with up-and-down mood swings. . . I find myself yearning for that sense of emotional equilibrium I had before this all began. I'm doing my best to give myself time for this part of the healing – but I find myself weary. Family and friends look at me like I'm fine now, and the trauma has passed – but the truth is, I am not fine on the inside. It's as if my body is trying to reboot emotionally, and its short-circuiting a bit. I am so goal-oriented. . . if I just had that "magic" date of when everything would be normal again, I could focus on that; but it doesn't work that way. I have to be patient with this portion of the healing – and I'm finding that hard. What are others' experiences with this? How long does it take for your emotions to settle from the trauma of breast cancer?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

anjalima | @anjalima | Jun 8 8:27am
In reply to @gina5009 "I am 56 years past my original breast cancer surgery. I am trying to look back..." + (show)
@gina5009

I am 56 years past my original breast cancer surgery. I am trying to look back and think about my journey, I know the first few years I did not expect to see 45, and tried to arrange my life since I had two children 6 and 8 years old and a husband I loved very much. But life seemed to go on and hope springs eternal and the fear began to subside. This is not to say everything was normal (what is normal) and I came to look at it this way. There are many other illnesses, and "conditon" that are life threatening and I did not seem to have contracted them, nor worry about them, so why continue to punish myself about this cancer. Keep a careful watch for anything that might seem different, and if you think something is different, make a doctor appointment and follow through. Don't let someone pat you on the head and say, "you are just worrying too much". If It can be taken off, do it. Once it is gone, no more worry. If it needs an MRI get it, you no longer have to worry. Life is good. Be your own Sherlock Holmes (take control). You can do it. Forgot to tell you I am 92
Gina5009

Jump to this post

Your wisdom , and your compassionate sharing of such wisdom, is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. Thank you 💕

REPLY
bpknitter53 | @bpknitter53 | Jun 7 1:25pm

I've completed all my active treatment (TNBC BRCA2+ – chemo, bilateral, then radiation) and have found my emotions more of a roller coaster ride now than when I was going through treatment. Maybe that was because I was actively doing something for my dx. I'm trying different things but some days I'm just unfocused and stuck. I hope this doesn't become my long-term "new" reality. I'm getting ready to retire and I have things I want to do and places I want to go. Now I'll have the time. What are things people are doing to get past the unfocused & stuck position they find themselves in?

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mim61 | @mim61 | Jun 6 8:22am

I understand
I am six wks out form surgery I had a lumpectomy metastatic her2 negative
For me the emotional state is truly a challenge
I trust with my faith in God for my life my healing!
God bless us!
I pray constantly
Stay in the word

REPLY
positiveinma | @positiveinma | Jun 5 5:22pm
In reply to @gina5009 "I am 56 years past my original breast cancer surgery. I am trying to look back..." + (show)
@gina5009

I am 56 years past my original breast cancer surgery. I am trying to look back and think about my journey, I know the first few years I did not expect to see 45, and tried to arrange my life since I had two children 6 and 8 years old and a husband I loved very much. But life seemed to go on and hope springs eternal and the fear began to subside. This is not to say everything was normal (what is normal) and I came to look at it this way. There are many other illnesses, and "conditon" that are life threatening and I did not seem to have contracted them, nor worry about them, so why continue to punish myself about this cancer. Keep a careful watch for anything that might seem different, and if you think something is different, make a doctor appointment and follow through. Don't let someone pat you on the head and say, "you are just worrying too much". If It can be taken off, do it. Once it is gone, no more worry. If it needs an MRI get it, you no longer have to worry. Life is good. Be your own Sherlock Holmes (take control). You can do it. Forgot to tell you I am 92
Gina5009

Jump to this post

Thank you for this wisdom! I am so glad that you shared.

REPLY
gina5009 | @gina5009 | Jun 5 3:20pm

I am 56 years past my original breast cancer surgery. I am trying to look back and think about my journey, I know the first few years I did not expect to see 45, and tried to arrange my life since I had two children 6 and 8 years old and a husband I loved very much. But life seemed to go on and hope springs eternal and the fear began to subside. This is not to say everything was normal (what is normal) and I came to look at it this way. There are many other illnesses, and "conditon" that are life threatening and I did not seem to have contracted them, nor worry about them, so why continue to punish myself about this cancer. Keep a careful watch for anything that might seem different, and if you think something is different, make a doctor appointment and follow through. Don't let someone pat you on the head and say, "you are just worrying too much". If It can be taken off, do it. Once it is gone, no more worry. If it needs an MRI get it, you no longer have to worry. Life is good. Be your own Sherlock Holmes (take control). You can do it. Forgot to tell you I am 92
Gina5009

REPLY
2 replies
rhongirl | @rhongirl | Sep 18, 2022
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@rhongirl My journey differs from yours only by cancer in a different place in my body...." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@rhongirl My journey differs from yours only by cancer in a different place in my body. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and my mood was good for 2 years until I had a recurrence in late 2021. After the initial shock of that recurrence diagnosis I had 5 weeks of radiation therapy at Mayo Clinic (I live far enough away that I chose to live in Rochester, MN during that period). I rang the bell when I finished. And I came home. Within a month after I came home I knew I was sinking down. It's like I "knew" what I was going through but I also knew I didn't feel it deep down. Like you, I'm functional, I can do what I need to do but I've been more anxious, irritable and depressed than I've been in many, many years. I was already on a low dose of duloxetine and I've thought many times of asking my doctor for an increase. I'm doing what I can with exercise, diet, meditation, and practicing acceptance and giving myself the time I need.

By the way, my partner has been somewhat baffled by my emotional response. He talked with HIS psychologist who has a background in oncology and he told my partner that my response (and yours, by the way) is very, very normal and common after treatment ends. The psychologist validated what I said so now my partner understands better. At least I hope he does. There is that initial elation followed by a downswing in mood.

Has cancer changed my life? Yes, most definitely. Does it make me grateful for every day. A reserved yes, but not the way many people who have not experienced cancer seem to think when I'm asked that question.

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Thanks, Helen. Hearing others speak of this part of the journey helps. I guess I anticipated I would be cruising into the new normal by now. . . but I feel tired and worn out yet from this long ordeal. It's been my first few months back at work, which is very taxing and physical. I'm pretty tired from that, too, but I can do what I need to do, and that part is great. It's the unpredictable emotional swings. . . . . they come and go. Some days almost like PMS on steroids. :o. Your description of the initial elation followed by a downswing in mood is spot-on. I have the educational background (my master's in therapy/counseling), but when it happens to me, it is not textbook stuff. . . it is the reality of having to unpack my own stuff instead of helping someone else unpack theirs. It's ironic – in grad school I requested a medical internship in oncology. I guess I've experienced both sides now.

Knowing that this will pass is helpful. . . I'm just glad to know how others are feeling after their intensive treatment regimes are over.

I really only have tatoos left with my care plan (choices). Everything else has been done. My plastic revision surgery after breast reconstruction went well, and I am all healed, yet there is an area leftover some might wish to "redo" yet again. . . but I am so done with surgery! I had a reaction (so they think) with my surgery in that I broke out with these terrible hives. . . so itchy and painful. The dermatologist said it was rare, but it began to clear after a month, so I counted myself lucky that it was over, and moved on. No more surgery, please!!

Thank you, again, for sharing your experiences. My husband really tries to understand, but the truth is, a person cannot if they haven't walked in the big cancer-shoes themselves. I'm working at being thankful daily. That helps. Until this passes, I'll just keep on keepin' on.

thanks. 🙂

REPLY
rhongirl | @rhongirl | Sep 18, 2022
In reply to @colleenyoung "Rhongirl, what you are experiencing is not unique to breast cancer as you can see from..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

Rhongirl, what you are experiencing is not unique to breast cancer as you can see from this discussion in the Cancer: Managing Symptoms group:
– Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emotional-health-after-cancer/

While I moved you newest discussion to your original one:
– Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emotional-aftermath-following-breast-cancer-treatment/
I'd like to bring @roch and @lisaok into the discussion and highlight the specific questions you asked:
"How many of you have gone through depression after the very physical trauma of cancer has passed? And what has your experience been?"

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Thanks, Colleen. 😉

REPLY
Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | Sep 18, 2022
In reply to @rhongirl "@auntieoakley thanks for your reply. Yes, I am safe in terms of my mental health status...." + (show)
@rhongirl

@auntieoakley thanks for your reply. Yes, I am safe in terms of my mental health status. I’m highly functional, but it’s just the way I’m rolling through it. I’m not myself…. Emotions are still rocking. I have spoken to a psychologist, and I’m doing ok. ….. but I’m not myself…. Sad, angry, scared. Everything heightened. It’s like my nerve endings are worn out. It feel like my body chemistry is off. When I had my hysterectomy in the midst of breast cancer (bc there were cells turning in my uterus), that was rough chemically. That began to settle after about 4 months, but I have been experiencing this longer term “rewiring” I call it. It’s like my body has to learn to live without a constant flux of cortisol from all the stress I was under. I’m not in fight-or-flight mode anymore, but my body was used to that for about two years…… so it’s trying to navigate the new normal.

I’d consider medications, but I react to much. So…. Trying to do what I can naturally (sleep, exercise, diet), and just give it time.

Jump to this post

@rhongirl My journey differs from yours only by cancer in a different place in my body. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and my mood was good for 2 years until I had a recurrence in late 2021. After the initial shock of that recurrence diagnosis I had 5 weeks of radiation therapy at Mayo Clinic (I live far enough away that I chose to live in Rochester, MN during that period). I rang the bell when I finished. And I came home. Within a month after I came home I knew I was sinking down. It's like I "knew" what I was going through but I also knew I didn't feel it deep down. Like you, I'm functional, I can do what I need to do but I've been more anxious, irritable and depressed than I've been in many, many years. I was already on a low dose of duloxetine and I've thought many times of asking my doctor for an increase. I'm doing what I can with exercise, diet, meditation, and practicing acceptance and giving myself the time I need.

By the way, my partner has been somewhat baffled by my emotional response. He talked with HIS psychologist who has a background in oncology and he told my partner that my response (and yours, by the way) is very, very normal and common after treatment ends. The psychologist validated what I said so now my partner understands better. At least I hope he does. There is that initial elation followed by a downswing in mood.

Has cancer changed my life? Yes, most definitely. Does it make me grateful for every day. A reserved yes, but not the way many people who have not experienced cancer seem to think when I'm asked that question.

REPLY
1 reply
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Sep 18, 2022
In reply to @rhongirl "@auntieoakley thanks for your reply. Yes, I am safe in terms of my mental health status...." + (show)
@rhongirl

@auntieoakley thanks for your reply. Yes, I am safe in terms of my mental health status. I’m highly functional, but it’s just the way I’m rolling through it. I’m not myself…. Emotions are still rocking. I have spoken to a psychologist, and I’m doing ok. ….. but I’m not myself…. Sad, angry, scared. Everything heightened. It’s like my nerve endings are worn out. It feel like my body chemistry is off. When I had my hysterectomy in the midst of breast cancer (bc there were cells turning in my uterus), that was rough chemically. That began to settle after about 4 months, but I have been experiencing this longer term “rewiring” I call it. It’s like my body has to learn to live without a constant flux of cortisol from all the stress I was under. I’m not in fight-or-flight mode anymore, but my body was used to that for about two years…… so it’s trying to navigate the new normal.

I’d consider medications, but I react to much. So…. Trying to do what I can naturally (sleep, exercise, diet), and just give it time.

Jump to this post

Rhongirl, what you are experiencing is not unique to breast cancer as you can see from this discussion in the Cancer: Managing Symptoms group:
– Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emotional-health-after-cancer/

While I moved you newest discussion to your original one:
– Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emotional-aftermath-following-breast-cancer-treatment/
I'd like to bring @roch and @lisaok into the discussion and highlight the specific questions you asked:
"How many of you have gone through depression after the very physical trauma of cancer has passed? And what has your experience been?"

REPLY
1 reply
rhongirl | @rhongirl | Sep 18, 2022
In reply to @auntieoakley "Hello @rhongirl I am really sorry you are still feeling this way. Cancer can be very..." + (show)
@auntieoakley

Hello @rhongirl I am really sorry you are still feeling this way. Cancer can be very traumatizing. Contrary to what the doctors told me, it wasn’t a year of treatment and then my life would be back to normal. That ship sailed with the first phone call I made and said “ I have a lump”.
I am going to tell you honestly that without a little better living through chemistry (Zoloft) I would not be here writing this today. I would be curled up in my room wanting the world to stop and let me off.
I know it is yet another drug, but I consider it the first cancer drug that actually made my quality of life better. The doctors tried a few others and I had a break from them at one point but frankly I am just………..better with this drug.
You have been through a lot, and you have a right to be happy again? It won’t always feel this way, even if it seems like it now. If you feel unsafe, please dial 988.
I would like to ask if you are mentally safe right now? Do you have a doctor following you now that you might talk to about this?

Jump to this post

@auntieoakley thanks for your reply. Yes, I am safe in terms of my mental health status. I’m highly functional, but it’s just the way I’m rolling through it. I’m not myself…. Emotions are still rocking. I have spoken to a psychologist, and I’m doing ok. ….. but I’m not myself…. Sad, angry, scared. Everything heightened. It’s like my nerve endings are worn out. It feel like my body chemistry is off. When I had my hysterectomy in the midst of breast cancer (bc there were cells turning in my uterus), that was rough chemically. That began to settle after about 4 months, but I have been experiencing this longer term “rewiring” I call it. It’s like my body has to learn to live without a constant flux of cortisol from all the stress I was under. I’m not in fight-or-flight mode anymore, but my body was used to that for about two years…… so it’s trying to navigate the new normal.

I’d consider medications, but I react to much. So…. Trying to do what I can naturally (sleep, exercise, diet), and just give it time.

REPLY
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