Colon cancer metastasized to lungs: Husband severely depressed

Posted by lah @lah, Jul 1, 2020

hi all. Haven’t been here for a while, although have been thinking about coming back. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer 6 1/2 years ago. His cancer metastasized to both of his lungs 3 years into this nightmare. He has been on every treatment program for colon cancer, all the chemos, and immunotherapy. He is on a chemo with an immunotherapy treatment right now. Dr did the test and found out he has the wild kras gene.
I’m not sure I am saying all this correctly. Because I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind totally helpless. He had a PET scan yesterday dr told us the treatment plan is working. still ! He will have 6 more treatments then another PET scan. If it is good they will do a lung biopsy and take out the biggest one. My question is any other caregivers dealing with the patient being severely depressed? It’s getting worse. Sometimes He’s like jekyll and hyde! Is this normal side effects?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Colorectal Cancer group.

@amandaburnett

@lah I am sorry about the counseling not working out. What happened to make you quit? And you don't need to feel guilty for wanting the cancer to be gone. It gets stressful day after day especially if you are not feeling well yourself. Can you call your physician and get recommendations for a new counselor?

Jump to this post

Hi thank you for your response. I had 3 free visits through a program at work. I used the three but the therapist I was assigned to was pregnant and due very soon. She wasn't coming back any time soon. So I guess I would have got a new one but I didn't go back. I work full time so appts after or before work are hard to get. My Dr recommended someone at my l

REPLY
@lah

Hi thank you for your response. I had 3 free visits through a program at work. I used the three but the therapist I was assigned to was pregnant and due very soon. She wasn't coming back any time soon. So I guess I would have got a new one but I didn't go back. I work full time so appts after or before work are hard to get. My Dr recommended someone at my l

Jump to this post

Sorry….didn't mean to hit send.
Dr gave recommendation at my last appt. I will call today.

REPLY
@jesfactsmon

@lah
Hi, I just found your story tonight for the first time (I only recently began following the Caregiver group here on Connect). I have scanned through all of your posts since 2019. You struggles are so human, your reactions to things so understandable. I have so much regard for you. What a trooper you have been for your husband!

I take care of my wife. She went through the whole breast cancer bit from 2011-2015. 5 outbreaks, 5 surgeries, one aborted chemo program (those chemicals were WAY bad for her body!). We finally were able to move past it when we discovered something called Haelan, which she takes every day and it keeps the cancer neutralized in her body, which was a stunning miracle that appeared out of nowhere. So we are not dealing with her cancer anymore, but she has developed bad neuropathy which has now been followed by several other health issues which she suffers through on a daily basis. Her life is severely curtailed from what it used to be. Mine as well.

One interesting difference between your experience and mine is that when my wife is very sick and weak, she becomes the sweetest and most appreciative person, she is just a jewel to care for. It's when her health swings back and she feels better and she has more energy, that is when she becomes more of a handful. She becomes more critical and more irritable. Weird I know, but that is what happens. I do everything I can for her and want always for her to feel better, stronger and healthier, but I always know that I must expect what comes with that. It's still mostly good because she is also funnier and is often very be fun to be around when she is feeling better too. But she is definitely the sweetest when she is sicker. Life sure is full of unexpected things!

My heart goes out to you as well as your husband as you traverse this years-long nightmare. Since I have been following the Connect forum I have become aware of so many sad stories of pain and struggle, but also of inspiration. And of so many heroic individuals such as yourself. Sending love and prayers and the best possible wishes to you guys. Hank

Jump to this post

Hi thank you for your response. How is your wife currently?
I know I am not alone in this journey, and my faith in God helps me so much. Again, I am reminded to slow down, prioritize and save time each day for myself to relax. I know I have to get some therapy. I do talk to some ppl but they don't get it. They say " stay positive." Or "….well he's sick" or "it's probably the chemo."
My best wishes and prayers for your wife and yourself. I hope you have many more years of memories to make.

REPLY
@lah

Hi thank you for your response. How is your wife currently?
I know I am not alone in this journey, and my faith in God helps me so much. Again, I am reminded to slow down, prioritize and save time each day for myself to relax. I know I have to get some therapy. I do talk to some ppl but they don't get it. They say " stay positive." Or "….well he's sick" or "it's probably the chemo."
My best wishes and prayers for your wife and yourself. I hope you have many more years of memories to make.

Jump to this post

@lah
Thank-you. I know how difficult it can be to try to be working fulltime along with your duties other duties at home. I was working fulltime during the first 4 years of our ordeal and I worried about my wife when I had to leave. Fortunately she could do the basics for herself during those years. It was early 2019 when she began to descend into more severe illness and debilitated state. Even now she usually takes care of most of her personal needs and all of her more intimate ones. I take care of most of the day to day stuff, cleaning, cooking, and all of the business stuff (which I have always done) as well as getting things for her when she is too fatigued, etc. It's great that you are able to work from home now. I can't say too much that is good about covid but the fact of many people now being allowed to do their work at home is definitely one thing that is a positive.

I am happy that you have a strong faith in God. There is nothing that gives a person more strength than that in my opinion. And I am glad you are on Connect as an outlet for yourself. Best, Hank

REPLY
@jesfactsmon

@lah
Thank-you. I know how difficult it can be to try to be working fulltime along with your duties other duties at home. I was working fulltime during the first 4 years of our ordeal and I worried about my wife when I had to leave. Fortunately she could do the basics for herself during those years. It was early 2019 when she began to descend into more severe illness and debilitated state. Even now she usually takes care of most of her personal needs and all of her more intimate ones. I take care of most of the day to day stuff, cleaning, cooking, and all of the business stuff (which I have always done) as well as getting things for her when she is too fatigued, etc. It's great that you are able to work from home now. I can't say too much that is good about covid but the fact of many people now being allowed to do their work at home is definitely one thing that is a positive.

I am happy that you have a strong faith in God. There is nothing that gives a person more strength than that in my opinion. And I am glad you are on Connect as an outlet for yourself. Best, Hank

Jump to this post

My husband has colon cancer and it metastasize into the liver. It is BRAF type . He is on encorafaib and cetuxmab . Encorafaib is pill form of chemo . He started out with 4 pills but then got bad stomach pains. So they put him down to 2 pills a day . He gets Cetuximab every Tuesday. Now he is getting so he cannot poop. They were worried about a bowel obstruction .if he has that they said they would do a bag where they bypass the colon. At Christmas he had diverticulitis really bad and was in the hospital for 5 days , Thant cleared up and now he has been back on the chemo since the second week in January and now we donnot know what is going on. Our Dr said he is his first patient on this chemo . The results from what he said are not very good odds . Does anyone know anything about this type of cancer and chemo? Please help he is in pain because of hard stools and not beable to relieve himself. He does do stool softeners , laxitives, and drinks prune juice. Any other suggestions would be helpful
Thank you

REPLY

My husband has the wild KRAS type so he was not on that chemo. However, he has had constipation with other chemos . Generally he gets diarrhea, which he says he'd rather have any day than constipation. I can tell you what worked for him hopefully there is something different he can try. We buy Benefiber in the to go packaging. . 1 package is perfect size for 1 bottle of water. Twice a day. , or you can put it in coffee or any other drink.. There is no taste..Drink a lot of water and other liquids Also my husband's job requires a lot of walking -staying active is real important. Colace also helped him.
I hope something works for him soon. That has to be so miserable! Will be looking for updates! Hugs

REPLY
@duckduck2020

My husband has colon cancer and it metastasize into the liver. It is BRAF type . He is on encorafaib and cetuxmab . Encorafaib is pill form of chemo . He started out with 4 pills but then got bad stomach pains. So they put him down to 2 pills a day . He gets Cetuximab every Tuesday. Now he is getting so he cannot poop. They were worried about a bowel obstruction .if he has that they said they would do a bag where they bypass the colon. At Christmas he had diverticulitis really bad and was in the hospital for 5 days , Thant cleared up and now he has been back on the chemo since the second week in January and now we donnot know what is going on. Our Dr said he is his first patient on this chemo . The results from what he said are not very good odds . Does anyone know anything about this type of cancer and chemo? Please help he is in pain because of hard stools and not beable to relieve himself. He does do stool softeners , laxitives, and drinks prune juice. Any other suggestions would be helpful
Thank you

Jump to this post

@duckduck2020
Hi, my wife has had trouble at previous times of her life with constipation. She is no longer troubled with that since she started taking an Ayurvedic remedy called Triphala. I would recommend that your husband try this product. It is natural and can be very potent for getting things moving. Here is the Amazon link:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DZ4T0XQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I realize your husband has a severe issue and it might seem like a heavy duty solution is called for, but this stuff is gentle and works on a subtle level that other things he may have tried do not. At least it may be different than other things he has tried. I hope it can help him. I am so sorry for his suffering. I know personally what it is like to not have a smooth running system, and it's not fun!

My heart goes out to you both for having to deal with chemo. My wife went through that for breast cancer, and the chemo was by far the worst aspect of the entire ordeal. She stopped the chemo halfway through and began using a product called Haelan951 that has kept her cancer free now for 5 1/2 years (after 5 previous bouts that came faster than once per year).

Wishing good luck for you both. My best to you, Hank

REPLY
@jesfactsmon

@duckduck2020
Hi, my wife has had trouble at previous times of her life with constipation. She is no longer troubled with that since she started taking an Ayurvedic remedy called Triphala. I would recommend that your husband try this product. It is natural and can be very potent for getting things moving. Here is the Amazon link:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DZ4T0XQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I realize your husband has a severe issue and it might seem like a heavy duty solution is called for, but this stuff is gentle and works on a subtle level that other things he may have tried do not. At least it may be different than other things he has tried. I hope it can help him. I am so sorry for his suffering. I know personally what it is like to not have a smooth running system, and it's not fun!

My heart goes out to you both for having to deal with chemo. My wife went through that for breast cancer, and the chemo was by far the worst aspect of the entire ordeal. She stopped the chemo halfway through and began using a product called Haelan951 that has kept her cancer free now for 5 1/2 years (after 5 previous bouts that came faster than once per year).

Wishing good luck for you both. My best to you, Hank

Jump to this post

Thank you for that website I will go on and get some ordered. Anything to try to get him going again

REPLY
@lah

My husband has the wild KRAS type so he was not on that chemo. However, he has had constipation with other chemos . Generally he gets diarrhea, which he says he'd rather have any day than constipation. I can tell you what worked for him hopefully there is something different he can try. We buy Benefiber in the to go packaging. . 1 package is perfect size for 1 bottle of water. Twice a day. , or you can put it in coffee or any other drink.. There is no taste..Drink a lot of water and other liquids Also my husband's job requires a lot of walking -staying active is real important. Colace also helped him.
I hope something works for him soon. That has to be so miserable! Will be looking for updates! Hugs

Jump to this post

Thank you we will try anything at this point. I worry more about a obstruction

REPLY

My husband gets the same way. His moods change so fast ! I figure it is because he s depressed and just don’t know. He is a avid fisherman and when I bring up fishing he never answered on anything. We have a place up north and we will probably never get up there again because he has to go everyday got fluids. They figure chemo is what dyhdrating hom

REPLY
@lah

My husband has the wild KRAS type so he was not on that chemo. However, he has had constipation with other chemos . Generally he gets diarrhea, which he says he'd rather have any day than constipation. I can tell you what worked for him hopefully there is something different he can try. We buy Benefiber in the to go packaging. . 1 package is perfect size for 1 bottle of water. Twice a day. , or you can put it in coffee or any other drink.. There is no taste..Drink a lot of water and other liquids Also my husband's job requires a lot of walking -staying active is real important. Colace also helped him.
I hope something works for him soon. That has to be so miserable! Will be looking for updates! Hugs

Jump to this post

Thank you for the recommendation . I worry more about a bowel obstruction and I know he does too. Before he was in the hospital he had diarrhea . Now stool are so hard . They did do a barium exray but the left side was clear and the right side they had to stop because of the pain he was in. Has anyone out there ever had the kind of chemo he has been getting?

REPLY
@duckduck2020

Thank you for that website I will go on and get some ordered. Anything to try to get him going again

Jump to this post

I always recommend checking with the oncologist (or oncology pharmacist) before taking new substances or medications, even if they are considered "natural." Medications, supplements, teas, etc can have interactions with chemotherapy or reduce its effectiveness. Always best to check for your individual case and bring a list of medications and supplements to every appointment.

@duckduck2020, encorafenib in combination with cetuximab for metastatic colorectal cancer with a BRAF V600E mutation was just recently approved by the FDA. I'm glad that your husband has been given the opportunity to get this treatment. @sepdvm might be able to share her experiences with cetuximab.

I can imagine that you're more worried about the obstruction and what that might mean. If you'd like to ask other members about living with an ostomy (the bag), we have a group here:
– Ostomy https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/ostomy/

Is your husband drinking lots of water? How are YOU doing?

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.
  Request Appointment