~ Article about self-talk ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Feb 22, 2017

Hi friends .... I just finished reading the article in the newsletter we get about "self talk" or whatever phrase was used. This is just my experience, so I do not propose this mindset for anyone else.
As others have said, I too have been depressed most of my life .... I especially remember it when I was a young teen. Of course, back then you wouldn't dare tell anyone you felt "sad, unhappy" or anything like that because (in my house at least) I'd have gotten a smack across the face .... but I suspect most parents would just blow you off. Well, when I was about 35, after my 2nd child was born ..... I had terrible post-partum depression .... I had it after the first one was born also, but didn't tell a soul. So, I went to a therapist in town who was a member of my church, and "spilled my guts." (sorry) He immediately launched into "self-talk" ..... change the way you're thinking, "what is the truth about this situation?", and on and on. He suggested I get a book called "Self-Talk" by David Stoop. I did, read it several times, and like I do with books, highlighted lots (I'm a Librarians's nightmare). I remained with this therapist for about 5-6 months, and I must admit, for awhile it seemed to be helping. But, my situation, mental health, and emotional illness went far deeper than any self-talk could touch. But, once again because I "knew" I had failed, I didn't say anything to anyone. During this time, I actually led a small group for ACoA's (Adult Children of Alcoholics) under the guidance of this same therapist. After about 10 more years, I couldn't stand it anymore, everytime I got in the shower I started to cry - the ache inside was so bad; but, once again (as my then-husband, a Narcissist, kept telling me "you're just nuts" .... that was really helpful!) I believed him. I was just a mess, couldn't do anything right, and would be better off dead, but we had 3 kids by then. I went to my family doctor, and bless her, she was wise enough to tell me that this was a clinical depression and since she didn't work with those types of medicines, she gave me the name and phone number of a Psychiatrist whom she thought was excellent. I also started in real deep therapy at that time with a PsyD who literally saved my life. I saw the Psychiatrist, he started me on a very low dose of Zoloft ...... I was scared to death of "those kinds of drugs" and since I was "nuts" I knew they wouldn't work. It's supposed to take about 6 weeks for them to kick in. I took one before I went to bed that night, and for the first time in many, many, years, I slept really well, the whole night through .... that, to me was a miracle.
I'm not bashing self-talk, for minor problems, but when they go deep down into your very heart and soul and mind, you well may need more.
abby

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Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Feb 22, 2017

I respect your perspective on this @amberpep. It's critical for each person to recognize which approach is right for them and when. I look forward to hearing other people's thoughts. Are you able to post a link to the article from the newsletter so everyone can read it?

Barb | @amberpep | Feb 22, 2017

I imagine those that get the newsletter would have it. Otherwise, I don't think I can move it over. I'm sorry.
abby

johnhans | @johnhans | Feb 23, 2017

In reply to @amberpep "I imagine those that get the newsletter would have it. Otherwise, I don't think I can..." + (show)

I too get the newsletter and read the article. There used to be a Dr. Backus here in the Twin Cities of Minnesota who wrote several books on self talk. He was a psychologist and also a minister. He had his own practice and also trained people at the church he attended in how to use the self talk to help others that came for counseling to the church. I have tapes of Dr. Backus teaching the class. I recognized early on that this cognitive approach is great for those with minor to moderate problems but anything else would need more help. Reading the newsletter reminded me that I do have negative self talk and that I can change that. That however, will not solve the problem of my severe depression. Medication and psychotherapy are needed for those with more than a minor occasional problem.
Basically the newsletter said that thinking things are impossible can be changed to how can I do this another way? Can someone help me? Can I do this in steps? In other words realize what you are saying to yourself and then analyze it to see if it is true and if not how can you change it to the truth.

johnhans | @johnhans | Feb 23, 2017

In reply to @colleenyoung "I respect your perspective on this @amberpep. It's critical for each person to recognize which approach..." + (show)

This is the Mayo Clinic newsletter Managing Depression. I have previously referred to it in this section of Connect and asked if there is some way to get a reference to it on here. I'm with Abby in not knowing how to get this linked as I am not a technological person.