Anyone have a bi-polar dx with thyroid cancer and struggling?

I'm 60, male, had thyroid cancer at 25 and was dx'd bi-polar a few days after my radiation treatment because I had an extreme psychosis which I'd never had before. Prior to that I had significant depression periods around age 20 and some periods hypomania. I had several psychoses post dx all precipitated by sleep deprivation, but none for the past 10+ years since I learned to protect my sleep. But the depression! - therapy has done nothing, no meds have worked. I've taken Lamotrigine for 15 years just because, not sure it's doing anything. Now my TSH and T4 are high and I'm in major depression. Waking after 2-3 hours of sleep. It's hell and I'm at the end of my rope. Someone please tell me they found a way to cope with a similar history! Any MD's who have expertise in thyroid and psychiatry? My mind NEVER stops racing, can't concentrate, memory is worsening, confidence and self esteem are all "masked" to keep up the appearance of being OK. I'm not.