Adult Life after a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)

Posted by Dawn Pereda @dawnpereda, Sep 27, 2017

Hi, My name is Dawn and I am an RN. Just over two years ago I received a work related injury. This injury has left me with a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Even though two years have passed, I still suffer with lingering tbi symptoms. I have some issues with memory. Some things I remember with no problems, other things I just don't remember and I can't explain why... I also suffer with issues related to mood dis-regulation. I can be angry at times and not understand why or end up having explosive outbursts. This has greatly impacted my life. I still work but no longer with patients. Also, this has been a huge turn around for my family. I'm no longer the mom who has everything under control. I used to work full time, manage my kids' schedules, pay household bills, and keep my house clean. Now I struggle to remember to brush my hair before leaving for work. My husband pays the bills and my kids write their schedules on a large calendar (that hangs in our dining room) so I can visually be reminded where they are and what they are doing. I am a "new" me and I never would have imagined this journey for myself.

I know there are things out there for youth that suffer from concussion/tbi, but I don't always find a lot of discussion/support for adults, like myself. I get up every day and work to live my life to its fullest. If you would like to know more about my life and journey, you can listen to a podcast that I did with my family. Its called "Terrible, Thanks For Asking". We're season 1, episode 5. Its brutally honest. If any of this rings true to your life please join this discussion with me. Thanks for your time!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Support Group.

@carnes

I have loose leaf books piled up and when I need info I don't know where I wrote it. My organizational executive skills are gone!! Really difficult. Besideforgetting my point I was trying to make or get across to someone. I am grateful for many things. Can't find the right word for exactly what I'm trying to say most of the time. It's frustrating because I'm suppose to be teaching. Sharon C

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Welcome dear @carnes, so sorry to hear about your suffering , as you say it's very frustrating when you can't find the right words or even say the things that you mean to yet another set of words come tumbling from your mouth , I've had head injury and living from side effects , sometimes people just act weird around you or think you have been drinking , yet you don't wish to explain every single time especially when it's to people should know better. Like doctors or friends . I've found those that called themselves friends can't think about how to support you through this difficult time, ain't worth your time or worries about them. Here your find dear precious ones that understand some of what you are dealing with, we either living with similar issues or support and or support precious family going through things like you, ( I've lost my dearest precious little sis lately and she was dealing with brain tumour and my son too she sadly didn't realize how poorly she was, or maybe it was a blessing she did not have to suffer long illness. Can't get my head around it let alone my heart, friends try to comfort but they don't understand ) my dearest precious beautiful Son has learnt to train others even with his traumatic brain injury, he changed his lifestyle ginger root dandelion root and Burdock turmeric coconut oil alkaline his system got off all medicine he trains natural resources antibiotics from silver to turmeric ginger they help you regain strength and recovery from some many things heal build your precious immune system along with stronger ,clear brain and thinking... Hope this helps you. Keep smiling. Your stronger than you think . Kind regards swift HUG from England. Carrot juice and bananas / paw paw fruit and pineapple juice or fresh add turmeric ginger root or cinnamon and chillies blueberries or green smoothie bananas and spinach ,cauliflower , honey and any vegetables you enjoy carrot juice just before meals just small glass it's amazing energy you find from eating free from process food and especially wheat your find what suits your system best enjoy also butternut squash soups stew we make home made add i little chillies, sea salt just tiny bit, and cinnamon and ginger power if you don't have root , enjoy ginger tea too with lemon and honey or turmeric up to you .

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Since I had one which took 2 1/2 years of therapies 5 days a week, all day ( sure nothing like that now, due to changes in health insurance to the worse) - I have alot of lessons which, if I remember them, help me now. The biggest that relates to this blog is what I call "false depression". The chemicals in my brain hijack my true feelings. Not a thought can be negative etc - BUT I feel depressed, angry, and on edge while having a very short attention span. The new accident happened in April - and still no therapies. I feel in a body-mind cage. Does anyone know any good resources for TBI - probably " mild-moderate" from a dr. view - but for me, the world has caved in - with no lifeboats anywhere. Know any resources? Thanks.

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@caroleeuits

Since I had one which took 2 1/2 years of therapies 5 days a week, all day ( sure nothing like that now, due to changes in health insurance to the worse) - I have alot of lessons which, if I remember them, help me now. The biggest that relates to this blog is what I call "false depression". The chemicals in my brain hijack my true feelings. Not a thought can be negative etc - BUT I feel depressed, angry, and on edge while having a very short attention span. The new accident happened in April - and still no therapies. I feel in a body-mind cage. Does anyone know any good resources for TBI - probably " mild-moderate" from a dr. view - but for me, the world has caved in - with no lifeboats anywhere. Know any resources? Thanks.

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Hi @caroleeuits, you'll notice that I moved your post about traumatic brain injury to this existing discussion. I did this so that you can connect with @dawnpereda @kw1904861 @treyaj @lakelifelady @oceanfun1 @micekja @willbc and others. Click VIEW & REPLY to scroll through the past messages.

I'm so sorry to hear that you had a new head injury this past April. That in itself is frustrating enough. I'm sure others here will relate to the "false depression," anger and short attention span symptoms that you're experiencing.

One of my go-to TBI resources is the Brain Injury Association of America: https://www.biausa.org/

Does reading your past posts in your profile help to lift your spirits and will? See here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/210394aa0084e94f81eaa37e7935004484f64d1514/ I find them very encouraging and am confident you can get back to that place, espcially with the support of other members here. What do you think?

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@lisalucier

Hi, @anncgrl - I moved your post to this discussion so you can read what others have said on life after a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and talk with those who have had similar experiences. Click VIEW & REPLY in your email notification to get to your post.

About your question regarding whether your son would be eligible for Medicaid, this government page may provide some useful information https://www.usa.gov/medicaid.

I thought @jakedduck1 @dawnpereda @lakelifelady and others here may be able to offer you support as you search for answers on the swelling and soreness your adult son has in the area where he suffered the hit when he's under stress. Hoping they can let you know if they've seen this kind of phenomena in themselves or others. @etadams has also mentioned having an adult son with a TBI. @oceanfun1 mentioned suffering from TBI-related emotional outbursts that reminded me of what you talked about with your son's emotional responses at times.

You mentioned your son's explosive rage is much reduced in a calm and regulated environment. What does he do or do you do to promote that kind of environment for him?

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I promote a calm and regulated environment for my son by listening when he rants without comment, going over information with him slowly and with as little hype as possible, making lists rather than anticipating he will remember, encouraging him quietly. I find overstimulatoon to be the key trigger. His tolerance is low and he is easily confused which leads to angry outbursts. It has taken me a long time to recognize my part in our interactions. I have adult ADHD and a quick wit. My form of communication feels like an attack to my son. He is often accusatory and irrational when ranting. I stopped taking it personal, accepted that I cannot have communication with him in a natural way. Of course he has the rest of the world.... ! This is not perfect but it helps.

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@jillyanne

So sorry, understand.

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@jillyanne, welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I see this is your first post. Do you live with a brain injury or care for someone with TBI? What's your brain injury story?

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Severe-TBI severing midbrain & frontal lobe

Hi,
My husband is the patient this post concerns. I'm writing it to see if there are any others out there who either have experience with this or who might have advice.

In 2011 my husband sustained a severe traumatic brain injury while serving in the military. The injury resulted in a near complete severing of midbrain from frontal lobe and induced a permanent state of fight-or-flight until which time as we were able to locate a team of doctors who were knowledgeable enough about such injuries to perform very specific treatments on him. They were limited in what they were able to repair but able to repair enough that he was no longer locked into fight-or-flight.

He is currently in a state of limbo. He functions well enough that he is no longer at risk of injuring himself or someone else when he has an episode of panic, is able to "talk himself down" once in a great while, but he is not functional enough to live a "normal" life and never will be "normal" again.

The long term prognosis provided by the team who treated him was that he would most likely experience depression, general idiopathic anxiety, & changes in personality.

They also advised me to expect mood swings, aggression, memory loss, inability to think clearly, sleep issues & loss of progress made (back-sliding) if he stopped his neurological exercises. He stopped them within 6-months of treatment because he believes they did nothing, despite my telling him that they must certainly did help. He has experienced everything they suggested could happen, and more.

Things I would add to that least of possible symptoms, beyond what the team of brain trauma experts expected us to deal with is: drastic changes in food cravings/weight gain, raging agoraphobia, hypothalamus/anterior pituitary malfunctions directly related to the acid base/balance, uncontrollable addictions to things that cause the "feel good" release of oxytocin, & his sleep/wake cycles being completely unable to maintain any sort of consistent schedule.

His treatments were done at a specialty brain clinic 5-years after the injury occurred, and 2-years ago Mayo's bought it out and melded with them, so all of his records are now in Rochester as I understand it.

His agoraphobia, lack of funds (because I am an unemployed nursing student) and his belief that NO ONE can help him, not even the experts... are the current obstacles preventing me from seeking out legitimate treatments for him beyond this forum. My end goal is to follow-up on what was done 5-yrs ago & get help for the symptoms we deal with on a daily basis with him but I don't know when or if I ever will be able to.

Due to the unstable state he exists in, (his mood swings and everything else) we made the choice, as a couple, to live separately to protect our children. Providing myself and the children with a "safe space" so that on the bad days we can leave and no one will get hurt either physically or emotionally.

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@hde521

Severe-TBI severing midbrain & frontal lobe

Hi,
My husband is the patient this post concerns. I'm writing it to see if there are any others out there who either have experience with this or who might have advice.

In 2011 my husband sustained a severe traumatic brain injury while serving in the military. The injury resulted in a near complete severing of midbrain from frontal lobe and induced a permanent state of fight-or-flight until which time as we were able to locate a team of doctors who were knowledgeable enough about such injuries to perform very specific treatments on him. They were limited in what they were able to repair but able to repair enough that he was no longer locked into fight-or-flight.

He is currently in a state of limbo. He functions well enough that he is no longer at risk of injuring himself or someone else when he has an episode of panic, is able to "talk himself down" once in a great while, but he is not functional enough to live a "normal" life and never will be "normal" again.

The long term prognosis provided by the team who treated him was that he would most likely experience depression, general idiopathic anxiety, & changes in personality.

They also advised me to expect mood swings, aggression, memory loss, inability to think clearly, sleep issues & loss of progress made (back-sliding) if he stopped his neurological exercises. He stopped them within 6-months of treatment because he believes they did nothing, despite my telling him that they must certainly did help. He has experienced everything they suggested could happen, and more.

Things I would add to that least of possible symptoms, beyond what the team of brain trauma experts expected us to deal with is: drastic changes in food cravings/weight gain, raging agoraphobia, hypothalamus/anterior pituitary malfunctions directly related to the acid base/balance, uncontrollable addictions to things that cause the "feel good" release of oxytocin, & his sleep/wake cycles being completely unable to maintain any sort of consistent schedule.

His treatments were done at a specialty brain clinic 5-years after the injury occurred, and 2-years ago Mayo's bought it out and melded with them, so all of his records are now in Rochester as I understand it.

His agoraphobia, lack of funds (because I am an unemployed nursing student) and his belief that NO ONE can help him, not even the experts... are the current obstacles preventing me from seeking out legitimate treatments for him beyond this forum. My end goal is to follow-up on what was done 5-yrs ago & get help for the symptoms we deal with on a daily basis with him but I don't know when or if I ever will be able to.

Due to the unstable state he exists in, (his mood swings and everything else) we made the choice, as a couple, to live separately to protect our children. Providing myself and the children with a "safe space" so that on the bad days we can leave and no one will get hurt either physically or emotionally.

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@hde521 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

I'm sorry your family is going through this. Having a TBI and being in a close relationship with someone with a TBI can be extremely difficult and his lack of openness to treatment is concerning.

Mayo Clinic Connect is a place to give and get support.

You will notice that I merged your question to a previous related topic. I did this so you could connect with members like @anncgrl @jillyanne @dawnpereda @kw1904861 @treyaj @lakelifelady @oceanfun1 @micekja @willbc @caroleeuits @swift

I'm also tagging @colleenyoung in hopes that she may have additional resources for you.

In all of this, where are you? How do you take care of yourself? What does your support system look like? Do you have a therapist or are you part of a support group?

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@erikas

@hde521 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

I'm sorry your family is going through this. Having a TBI and being in a close relationship with someone with a TBI can be extremely difficult and his lack of openness to treatment is concerning.

Mayo Clinic Connect is a place to give and get support.

You will notice that I merged your question to a previous related topic. I did this so you could connect with members like @anncgrl @jillyanne @dawnpereda @kw1904861 @treyaj @lakelifelady @oceanfun1 @micekja @willbc @caroleeuits @swift

I'm also tagging @colleenyoung in hopes that she may have additional resources for you.

In all of this, where are you? How do you take care of yourself? What does your support system look like? Do you have a therapist or are you part of a support group?

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Hello @ericas

* Where are you?: We're located in Northern Indiana

* How do you take care of yourself?: I'm unsure about what exactly you are asking here. I'm going to answer as though you mean "how do you spell yourself and your family financially". In October 2018 I returned to school to achieve my RN degree; essentially finish what I started 10 years ago when I dropped out of nursing school because hubby got hurt. Because we're in the "underclass" tax bracket I have filled for food stamps, medicaid for me and the kids (hubby refuses to allow me to file for him so any help for him must be out of pocket).

* What does your support system look like?:
I come from a large family who pulls together when bad stuff happens so when I shared what had happened & how much of a bind I was in after hubby got hurt everyone on my side had a meeting and the decision was made unanimously to assist in whatever way was necessary to prevent myself and the children from being homeless or going without necessities.

I talk to my sister when I need a compassionate trustworthy ear/shoulder to lean on if it gets too bad.

Initially the same decision about provisions & housing was made for hubby too, but he burned my family pretty bad multiple times with his emotional instabilities, physically assaulting my brother when he stepped between my husband and son to protect my son, ran his mouth to much etc and they will no longer help him. His parents have been helping keep him housed for 3 years but there are some things that are becoming problematic with that situation too that may result in my needing to take out an apartment him or something else beyond the current arrangements.

As far as "self care" I don't have a set routine. It's difficult to find time for myself but I try to block out about 2hrs per week for myself & 4hrs per week for the kids. When spending time with them I end up fishing, or spending leisure time on the lake swimming; for myself I go shooting at the range, listen to music while driving, go "shopping" for nothing & don't buy anything. Like go to hobby lobby, walk around and imagine what I could do with those craft supplies or these etc.

Do you have a therapist or are you part of a support group?:
I HAD a personal therapist. I do not any longer because the grant ran out. Through school, with the programs I am enrolled in, there is a requirement for me to meet with a school appointed therapist to ensure that I am not going to become a liability to the school for all of the effort they're putting into me, or for me to have a mental break down in the middle of the nursing program and then they waste my spot or something.

Spiritually, I don't block out specific times for bible study or God outside of church but I kind of have this "running conversation" with him sometimes...

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@hde521

Hello @ericas

* Where are you?: We're located in Northern Indiana

* How do you take care of yourself?: I'm unsure about what exactly you are asking here. I'm going to answer as though you mean "how do you spell yourself and your family financially". In October 2018 I returned to school to achieve my RN degree; essentially finish what I started 10 years ago when I dropped out of nursing school because hubby got hurt. Because we're in the "underclass" tax bracket I have filled for food stamps, medicaid for me and the kids (hubby refuses to allow me to file for him so any help for him must be out of pocket).

* What does your support system look like?:
I come from a large family who pulls together when bad stuff happens so when I shared what had happened & how much of a bind I was in after hubby got hurt everyone on my side had a meeting and the decision was made unanimously to assist in whatever way was necessary to prevent myself and the children from being homeless or going without necessities.

I talk to my sister when I need a compassionate trustworthy ear/shoulder to lean on if it gets too bad.

Initially the same decision about provisions & housing was made for hubby too, but he burned my family pretty bad multiple times with his emotional instabilities, physically assaulting my brother when he stepped between my husband and son to protect my son, ran his mouth to much etc and they will no longer help him. His parents have been helping keep him housed for 3 years but there are some things that are becoming problematic with that situation too that may result in my needing to take out an apartment him or something else beyond the current arrangements.

As far as "self care" I don't have a set routine. It's difficult to find time for myself but I try to block out about 2hrs per week for myself & 4hrs per week for the kids. When spending time with them I end up fishing, or spending leisure time on the lake swimming; for myself I go shooting at the range, listen to music while driving, go "shopping" for nothing & don't buy anything. Like go to hobby lobby, walk around and imagine what I could do with those craft supplies or these etc.

Do you have a therapist or are you part of a support group?:
I HAD a personal therapist. I do not any longer because the grant ran out. Through school, with the programs I am enrolled in, there is a requirement for me to meet with a school appointed therapist to ensure that I am not going to become a liability to the school for all of the effort they're putting into me, or for me to have a mental break down in the middle of the nursing program and then they waste my spot or something.

Spiritually, I don't block out specific times for bible study or God outside of church but I kind of have this "running conversation" with him sometimes...

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@hde521 welcome back and thank you for sharing more about your story and circumstances as it pertains to your husband's TBI. Reading the support you have from your family and also the wherewithal you had to create a safe living space for you and your kids really shows you are doing everything in your control to seek help and maintain boundaries.

Members such as @anncgrl @jillyanne @dawnpereda @kw1904861 @treyaj @lakelifelady @oceanfun1 @micekja @willbc @caroleeuits @swift may be able to jump in and provide some additional support given their personal experiences with TBIs.

In thinking about what is next for your husband, what do you feel needs to happen with regard to him getting care? One thing I might suggest is looking into virtual therapy sessions, which might seem less of a jump, especially if he is dealing with agoraphobia. I wonder if you could reach out to your county for assistance and recommendations on what his options might be if he is without insurance? Is this something you've looked into?

It seems to me that if he could start there, medical re-evaluation and care might be considered as a next step when he is ready to continue to improve his health?

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