Abandoned and alone

Im 78 and feel abandoned by my kids too. Its my perception, not the reality. They just have their own lives. My life was always about them and even though I always worked outside the home, they were what mattered to me. I feel like they dont need my anymore (which they dont in a practical sense) but I long for the times we spent together and miss being their mom. So even tho my situation seems less painful than yours, I understand that feeling. If Im not a mom and grandmother involved in their lives, who am I and what do I do??

Hi Panamagloria,
I'm so sorry you are in this situation. It must be very hard not seeing your grandchildren and your daughter not speaking to you! I have a similar situation. My son hasn't spoken to me in 30 years. Like you, I don't know why. There was no disagreement or anything. Also my husband died a year ago so now I'm totally alone. I'm 79 and most of our friends and family are all dead and up in Heaven. I have just given all of my concerns up to God. I pray often and my prayers get answered. God is there for us. We just have to ask for his help. I even told God that I was giving my son back to him so maybe he could straighten him out.

I have accepted the fact that I am now alone and probably will be for the rest of my life. I started cleaning my house thoroughly. When I was caring for my husband with cancer the last year of his life much of the heavy cleaning got neglected. So now, I'm trying to do it a little each day. The flower gardens need work also. Find something that can make you feel useful and happy. It doesn't have to be cleaning. That's just me! Maybe join a group at a Senior Center or find a church you like. This forum is very useful in finding many nice people who are having problems too. Someone is always there to talk to and it helps. I've been comforted by people on here many times since my husband died. They take the loneliness away.

I hope things work out better for you. I'll say a prayer for you.
PML

Precious Folks, The two things human beings need is to be loved and to be needed in life. I am so sorry
for the way things have turned out for some of you.

You are loved by God and I am praying for you right now. Please keep reaching out on here. People care and
love you and there are so many good people on this site. Blessings & Prayers....

@panamagloria
It would be good for you to get counseling to help you cope. I’m sorry for your feeling abandoned. I can relate to feeling lonely and not having family be there for you when you have done so much for them. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and doing things you enjoy. Find ways to get involved in your community socially to give you other ways to be around people. You may want to volunteer. What do you enjoy doing? Do you have a pet? My dogs and cats give me companionship and something to love and care for. They love me back, too! 🙂

I also make projects for myself. This summer I worked alot on my backyard. It makes me feel like Im accomplishing something and the physical activity is good. Stuff I couldnt do when the kids were young and I was working. It is satisfying but still lonely. I wish our senior center had activities or something. This forum, altho Im brand new to it, really makes me feel less alone. Less damaged maybe. Thank you for your share.

Thank you so much for those caring words. I think i am more needed and loves than I feel. Maybe I need to be loving myself more. And turning more to my Higher Power

@panamagloria
It would be good for you to get counseling to help you cope. I’m sorry for your feeling abandoned. I can relate to feeling lonely and not having family be there for you when you have done so much for them. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and doing things you enjoy. Find ways to get involved in your community socially to give you other ways to be around people. You may want to volunteer. What do you enjoy doing? Do you have a pet? My dogs and cats give me companionship and something to love and care for. They love me back, too! 🙂

Hi Katenj,
I think that's great that you are working in your backyard! I've been taking care of my flower gardens and shrubs also. It's very satisfying and like you said, good physical activity! It is hard to cope with the loneliness but this forum does help. If you ever want to send me a private message, I'd love to hear from you!
Have a good time working in your backyard!
PML

howdy and welcome, sorry you feel that way bout things. its harder the older you get and have problems with your kids, i kind of have a few related problems similar and still not quite 69. to you that's probably a pup but have already put two lifetimes into those 68 years. but i do have a daughter that makes my world rock. if not for her i would be in the situation of trying to find me a senior center to make some friends. hard enough to have those other issues and feel abandoned. i feel the same with family and a lot to my story, but would welcome you as a long distance friend if you would like that. message me anytime. have the better part of the evening that you can. I'm out in Virginia taking it one day at a time. they call me randy.

ps, give her a call anyway, who knows.