Hello tnt69,
I'm not sure how relevant this information is as it happened back in 1999. We saw my dad for Christmas in 1998. I visited him around Jan. 15 for his birthday and we saw he had lost about 25 pounds. The inept drs. that were treating him thought he had food poisoning and had put him on antibiotics and obviously that didn't work. By March he continued to lose an extraordinary amount of weight and after asking his dr to give him CT they found and now determined he had pancreatic cancer which had now spread to at least his stomach, and lungs, (and probably liver). They put him on hospice saying they couldn't do anything for him. He came to live with us from end of March until he passed in late August. When he first came to live with us I gave him protein drinks and cooked filet fish which he tolerated for about 1 week; afterwards the only thing he could tolerate was Ensure for all of his meals. Hospice came in for his care (bathing, nurse, and social worker 2-3x per week) and they were incredible and my dad loved and I think thrived on their care which is saying a lot because he was usually very critical. When he came to our home he had some type of breathing machine as he had a very difficult time to breathe. To be frank, it was very difficult to see your loved one diminish within a short period of time; I was also pregnant at the time with morning sickness that lasted 5 months, but there is not one second in my life that I ever regret bringing him to my home and caring for him. I tried to connect with relatives he had not seen for years and they came to see him or talk to him on the phone. My husband was there to talk with him man-to-man since my brothers wouldn't show up. My sister's option was to put him in a home, and because I and dad didn't follow her advice it created a rift between my sister and me that exists to this day. One very interesting note about my dad is that he never took any pain medicine until the moments before he passed as he was really struggling to breathe and that of course ended his suffering. He was 77 years old, but very healthy (rarely drank and didn't smoke), and used his treadmill. We have a very aggressive form of cancer, so your loved one may last longer. The best you can do is offer family, friends, and love and support. I wish you and your family well.