Buddha, In retrospect I paralleled your experience when caring for my wife. At the outset, I realized her disease (Dementia) could only be managed. And that I needed to take care of me so she hopefully would pass before me. That is exactly what happened. Lucky for both of us. It has been two years since she died. Fortunately my health is still good enough that I can do what I enjoy doing. I am enjoying my final chapter. Do I wish she were still with me, even in her demented state - absolutely. Being the two of us had the Conversation about our end of life preferences, I felt comfortable being her advocate. I feel having the Conversation, as unsettling as it may be, is Soooo important. She was an amazing person. The best to you.