Well I had told him I do not want to be a burden so it is more me that asks very little of them. I'm talking about maybe one or two things a year at most and sometimes not even that much. No I have not addressed that because it is more one daughter alluding to the fact that the other daughter said it when they had talked about taking turns helping me approximately 2 years ago this fall I believe.

When I print it out my health conditions problem list and showed it to them individually, I told them that I felt I was put into this position to have to validate myself because of that comment. Neither one owned it and both of them barely reacted when seeing my very long list of diseases and conditions on paper. I cannot explain it, I do not get it. They have issues and were very much in the beginning of the victim mentality and entitlement mentality.

They have very good hearts and they have servant Hearts but it's more for friends and church family than for me. It hurts.

Like I said, they are both extremely busy and overcommitted but at the drop of a hat they can run to someone else's side.

I was married to their dad for 17 years and he was abusive. Children will always take out there pain/anger on the parent whose love they are most secure in and they will always try to please the parent whose love they are trying to win. A professional told me that their thinking is something like, oh well mom, she loves me, she'll forgive me.

I have told them that it is not the divorce that is responsible for their pain but more so the 17-year toxic marriage. I did not say anything bad about their dad nor do I except for when they became adults and have their own children and would make a comment here and there but I could count on one hand the times I had to say anything and that is different times to different kids so it wasn't much. I don't believe in doing that. Only when a conversation or something they said called for it.

I'm pretty sure that I have asked them to go to counseling together over the years and in fact it go to counseling just once right before the divorce but it did not go well.

Oh well it is what it is. It is an inconvenience to them that I am ill and I'm sure they have resentment that I have been unable to help in physical ways over the years although they have acknowledged I give a lot to my grandkids and they know that we have a very close relationship.

Thank you for your input, Sunny flower