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Chronic Pain members - Welcome, please introduce yourself
Chronic Pain | Last Active: 7 hours ago | Replies (6797)Comment receiving replies
@sunnyflower Hi again, Sunny. I hear that your kids are so intensely busy with their own kids, jobs, etc. They actually do sound like extra special people. They are amazing, actually. For some reason, though, it just is not built into them to really help YOU. Are we wrong to think we deserve this? Is it like developmentally inappropriate to ask our kids to help? Is it NORMAL for them to mostly just attend to their own lives now? Perhaps, to some degree. I have a very dear Hindi girlfriend who has taught me so much about family through a Hindi perspective. In her Hindi culture, it is absolutely EXPECTED that children attend to their parents. If a parent needs help, they help. To top it off, my friend's kids help without being asked. They are attuned to their parents. They truly honor their parents. My girlfriend says that if she ever needs to live with one of her kids, it will just happen. She will be welcomed with grace. When she was in the hospital with cancer, her children stayed with her whenever they could. At some level, I think we raise spoiled kids, and we get taken for granted. I am so compassionate, that I would just naturally help. But many people are not like that at all. Because you gave your heart and soul as a mom, you would think it would be given back, at least to some degree. I don't know what the answer is. I have only one very busy son. Just had his second child, finishing grad school, a very intense job in pharmaceutical sales, and the kid barely says a word to me, ever. Did I raise him where he did not feel my love? Me? He had to feel it, cause, it's me. However, that is no guarantee of getting it back. We should not be loving in order to get it back, anyway. That does not seem right. I just do not know what the answer is. I just feel for you, sweet Sunny girl. You are like sunshine here. If I lived by you, I would help you as much as I could. Love to you, Lori
Replies to "@sunnyflower Hi again, Sunny. I hear that your kids are so intensely busy with their own..."
Hi Lori, thank you for your kind words again. I raised my kids to be compassionate and to serve others.
I took them with me and involved them in ministering to specifically the mentally challenged (at the time they were called, "special people" and to the elderly. It blesses my heart so much to see them continue to do this and teach their children to do the same.
All in all they truly are great human beings. They try to walk circumspectly and they love the Lord.
It would be a hoot if we lived close. We'd probably get into a lot of trouble together being bad!!!!! 😁
You are a precious friend. I hope you have a blessed weekend. 😊🙏🌹🥰💗
Oh yes, I have Asian friends and that is their culture too. They honor their parents and take care of them.
I believe that most Americans, especially kids, don't have a clue what it means to honor anyone, especially their parents. I think it's tragic! I have told my girls that.
My oldest daughter and her husband told my husband and I that they want us to buy a place with a separate apartment so they can keep an eye on us and help us when needed. We currently live about 35-45 minutes away. We are blessed and grateful for their invite but don't anticipate it happening soon. We love our little condo and view of the the mountains too much. It's hard bc she is uber controlling and strong willed and intense and I am very gentle spirited and not controlling. I don't like having power over anyone. I 'm a warm fuzzie and she is not. We still hug and she always says she loves me and of course, I the same. 🤗❤️ Good night dollink 🥱
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@lorirenee1
Lori, I really have a hard time understanding some people. So I try to interact with those that I do understand and that make sense to me. The others, once I have figured out I am never going to understand why they think so differently than me, I just wish them well in my mind and then forget about them. Of course continuing to be civil, and not unkind. If possible. Hank