@sunnyflower Hi again, Sunny. I hear that your kids are so intensely busy with their own kids, jobs, etc. They actually do sound like extra special people. They are amazing, actually. For some reason, though, it just is not built into them to really help YOU. Are we wrong to think we deserve this? Is it like developmentally inappropriate to ask our kids to help? Is it NORMAL for them to mostly just attend to their own lives now? Perhaps, to some degree. I have a very dear Hindi girlfriend who has taught me so much about family through a Hindi perspective. In her Hindi culture, it is absolutely EXPECTED that children attend to their parents. If a parent needs help, they help. To top it off, my friend's kids help without being asked. They are attuned to their parents. They truly honor their parents. My girlfriend says that if she ever needs to live with one of her kids, it will just happen. She will be welcomed with grace. When she was in the hospital with cancer, her children stayed with her whenever they could. At some level, I think we raise spoiled kids, and we get taken for granted. I am so compassionate, that I would just naturally help. But many people are not like that at all. Because you gave your heart and soul as a mom, you would think it would be given back, at least to some degree. I don't know what the answer is. I have only one very busy son. Just had his second child, finishing grad school, a very intense job in pharmaceutical sales, and the kid barely says a word to me, ever. Did I raise him where he did not feel my love? Me? He had to feel it, cause, it's me. However, that is no guarantee of getting it back. We should not be loving in order to get it back, anyway. That does not seem right. I just do not know what the answer is. I just feel for you, sweet Sunny girl. You are like sunshine here. If I lived by you, I would help you as much as I could. Love to you, Lori