It's been a long time since posting to this group. I just started following a few of the emails on Opioids restrictions and reading the members thoughts on suicide living with this horrid, okay extremely tough, condition, no matter the individual particular condition. Pain is pain, and we shouldn't have to live with it, if there are alternatives. A few years ago I'd be hard pressed to respond as I was mostly bed bound with the tiniest of exertion causing extreme burning pain throughout my entire body. What the maximum dosages of Lyrica, Cymbalta and high dosages of Amitriptyline and Topiramate, and the $8000 in Supplements I purchase from my Functional Diagnostic Nutrition doctor has done is give me breadth in the amount of exertion it takes to set off that cascading pain from hell, though from no fault of my own, some weeks it just comes. I have a blanket behind my chair, here, with a pillow, which is where I spend many of my entire days, in pain and in and out of sleep.

I am on Buprenorphine now, after the pain management folks got a win notched in their belt taking me off of the Fentanyl Patch. I mentioned thoughts of suicide, big mistake, and that's all it took. Who wouldn't have those thoughts when in that amount of pain? I was asking for more, a higher dose, which I know from going there at times, not to get high, and nothing dangerous, but I could live, have a life, with far fewer negative symptoms compared to being in a fetal position because every nerve cell in my body is exploding in burning pain.

So, now I'm at the same place with the Buprenorphine. I know a slightly higher dose has a very positive effect on my situation, with little effects on my mental state. I hate feeling high, and not feeling in control. When I tell the doctor, or Nurse really, the drug is going to the pain, I mean it. But, I'm told, no, you're at the highest dosage that according to the medical literature has the most benefit against side effects. But, I just explained to you that it does and I didn't have side effects - on the contrary? Instead, lets see if your Disability Medicare will pay for a drug pump to be surgically implanted, with a cocktail that the local doctor comes up with, so we can have full control of your pain, and later scratch your heads and say then, well there's nothing more we can do for

However, I will say to those who find themselves in excruciating pain right now, that it will no doubt get better over time. I know that's little consequence when you're in the middle of that pain, but even that pain will subside some. The fact you reached out to this group is already a huge step. I know it's hard relying on others to fight for us, but you have to have faith your situation will get better, because most likely it will. If you're able I do recommend a good FDN Doctor, usually outside of insurance, though mine started taking insurance, just not mine. I put much of my recovery with her.

For those fighting for us, thanks! I see some URLs here, but if there are better ones, I have control of a Fibromyalgia WEB site, that it's time it's taking up the cause.