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Chronic Pain members - Welcome, please introduce yourself

Chronic Pain | Last Active: 14 hours ago | Replies (6806)

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@jesfactsmon

@jimhd @faithwalker007
I am a morning person and my wife is a night owl. The time I dread is when I have just gotten up from sleep and walk into the living room to see her. Many nights she has been in her worst pain of the day for most of the 6 hours I was asleep. I can usually tell how she is immediately, and usually it's not good. It's one, two or all three of her worst issues. Tonight it was her feet (heels mainly) that were the worst. Ever since we have fallen into living life day by day with her agony always there at the forefront, it has been genuinely depressing. She is a pretty unhappy camper. Her personality is now so different than it was a few short years ago. It's such a sad way to live and I am at the point where there isn't much I can do to help her. She copes, but she can barely get any enjoyment from life much of the time.

I feel very deep compassion, I seem to have a large capacity for that, but that doesn't do much in the end. It's disheartening. I will tell you one thing though, it makes those rare days where she feels fairly pain free and seems kind of happy (who wouldn't?) a real joy to live through. And they do happen occasionally.

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@jesfactsmon Hank, what a beautiful post and what a great love you and your wife must have for each other!
My husband is not so strong with expressing emotions but expresses great gratitude when I can give him a great back massage (I’m really good at it and they can last over an hour - he has a bad back) if I’m not in pain. Just because I’m agoraphobic I don’t want him to be but he always asks if he can go out on a particular day or if one day is better than another; it is so kind. If he sees I’m having a particularly bad stay, he stays home with me. He always brings a treat home for me if he does go out.
Marriage is a wonderful thing. I can only hope I pull even some of my share of the weight by the little I can do.

@jesfactsmon Hank, you are the one person on this whole Earth who deserves everything good in life. As I read about you and your wife, I am crying because you guys have such respect and love for one another. Such a solid marriage. I know how it pains you to have your wife this way, and I am so grieved by this. There is no real explanation for why rotten things happen to such good people, although we philosophize, and try to make sense out of senselessness. I just care. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. Just know that there is a curly old red head here that cares so much. Lori