My husband also has mild to moderate Alzheimer's Disease and we are trying to move to an area where we don't have to drive 2 1/2 to 5 hours to see some of our doctors. I sympathize with your situation and the decisions you need to make. The one thing I have learned is that you really never escape back pain when you have a degenerative spine. But surgery does improve your ability to function for a while.
When your doctor writes the referral, have them include imaging MRI, CT, X-ray films and/or CD, and include any other documents that might help your referral. If you have not been in PT recently, I suggest you start that too. Mayo will recommend that you do that first. The sooner you get your first steps finished, the more likely you are to get an appointment.
I started my history with Mayo with my first back surgery in 2007. Before I went, I was in PT for 3 months with no relief. I had x-rays and records for injections. It still took 4 visits to the clinic before they agreed to do surgery. (I live about 400 miles from Rochester.)
For my fusion, I had done everything before my first visit including daily visits to a local pool for water exercise. I saw my neurosurgeon in April and my surgery was scheduled for May 27th, 2020. This was during COVID lockdowns so I felt really fortunate to get the appointments. I met the orthopedic surgeon and my neurosurgeon at the next visit and my surgery was done 2 weeks later.
If you are accepted, they will send you a schedule for your first appointments and assign you a clinic number if you don't already have one. That clinic number is important because you have become a patient in their system. Any future visits will be easier to make. It's likely that you will see a Physiatrist for your first consult. He/she will refer you to the surgeon/s you will need to see. You will probably also have more imaging done at your first visit. Mayo is really good about trying to make this process as easy as possible. Most of the time, you will be there for several days for each visit. Transportation is extremely easy there too, with most of the hotels offering shuttle service.
I have 3 kinds of arthritis in my spine. All of my neck except the bottom vertebra and a large portion of my thoracic spine are fused because of Diffuse Idiopathic Skeletal Hyperostosis (DISH). I took the pain management course in their Pain Rehabilitation Center and found it very helpful. They offer a two day course and a 3 week course for adults in Rochester. In Jacksonville, they have a 3 week course for adults available. It is my choice not to take more medication than the Celebrex. It doesn't stop the pain, but it does help reduce some of the inflammation. Don't give up on Mayo yet! If you aren't able to get in with the referral, try the pain management course in Jacksonville. Once you are a patient at the clinic, you may find it easier to see a surgeon at any of their locations.
For your move, consider calling a mover to see if they have people who will help pack your belongings for your move. Our friends recently did that and it was a life-saver for them as he has Parkinson's. Then, start sorting through your possessions and do some serious downsizing.
You're dealing with a lot of serious issues in your household. Give yourself a break! You are doing the best you can do in a very difficult situation. You have reached out for help and I am glad to be able to offer some advice. I wish you success!