We are no longer who we were. I have accepted my new normal as much as I can. I have had to work really hard to not think about who I was before but figure out who I am now. I kept thinking I would be that person again one day, but realistically I am not. I have so many non-curable things from LC. I have found some low energy hobbies. I have started a family history and am gathering pictures, articles, etc. I love this, who knew? I am making annual memory books for my grandson. I love making them and he loves looking through them. I am thrilled if I can make it through a work week laying on the sofa while working to conserve energy and control pain and swelling. I am taking life one day at a time. I find it easier to manage one day at the time. This has been a very long, painful, messy road with many people not understanding or believing I was sick. I found doctors locally and at my LC clinic who know. It took a while but what a life changer that has been. I still have bad days, sadly there will always be bad days. But I have set my bar so low for happy things such as the fact I woke up this morning. I made coffee, it tasted good and I was able to drink it. I will have one meal today, as food has become my enemy on so many levels; smell, taste, having energy to figure out what I can eat and make it, and then the fun GI issues. But I am doing it. I am looking at anything I can accomplish as a victory. I love Christmas and used to have a great social life and go shopping etc, now my house is full of decorations I love in every room. And I can find anything and everything online to window shop and buy.
I can't take antidepressants due to medication I am now taking. At first I was able to take low dose anti-depressants. It is okay to take these. If we were miracle workers we would all be healed and healthy. Your mental state is just as important as your physical. Do/find what works for you. Take care of you. We are all worthwhile and have value in being among the living. Don't lose sight of that. I wish you and all of us the best year we can have in 2024. I wish us things that make us happy, big or small. I wish us as much mitigation as we can find for our health issues, mental and physical.