Connect
← Return to Sister not diagnosed yet but cognitive and physical challenges
Discussion
Sister not diagnosed yet but cognitive and physical challenges
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jan 14 11:02am | Replies (28)Comment receiving replies
Linda, My heart goes out to you. It sounds like your sister's condition is progressing rapidly. It is great that her son is coming soon. Has he seen her recently, or is he going to be shocked when he comes?
Is he the type that will step in and help with the legal matters? If so, can he, or you, or another family member locate an eldercare attorney near you and set up an appointment early in his visit?
It sounds to me, from your descriptions of events this month, that it may be time for Legal and Durable Medical Power of Attorneys, or even a guardianship. Encourage him to take an active role in this if he can - please do not add the burden of making critical decisions and dealing with finances to your already overflowing plate!
At the end of my Mom's life, even though she was still fairly competent, my brother held her Financial/Legal Power of Attorney and sister and I jointly held her Medical Power of Attorney, so we could make decisions together about her care (there are 6 kids, the rest were okay with the arrangement.)
Definitely invite him to all medical appointments so he can hear first hand what her doctors advise.
Please come back and chat here - we will hold your hand remotely as you travel through this difficult time.
Sue
Replies to "Linda, My heart goes out to you. It sounds like your sister's condition is progressing rapidly...."
Connect
Thank you, Sue, for your helpful compassion. Her son is going to be in charge of all her financial and legal issues.... I am going to be in charge of her day to day care and getting her to all her appointments (with the help of my sons, daughters, and husband). My nephew is very interested in conferencing in on all her appointments that are consultations, and has been doing so since his mom got sick. He calls her and comforts her in so many ways. He saw her at Thanksgiving, and even though I kept him up to date with her health issues with daily, detailed text messages, he was shocked to see her weakness and decline at Christmas.
He will have legal power of attorney, and medical power of attorney. I hope he will let me be joint on the medical POA because I may have to make decisions quickly ... do you agree?
She has stopped the medicine that was ?causing side effects of extreme weakness and confusion. She has improved a lot in that way, almost pre-medicine in most areas. But she is having hallucinations ... for example, she said she was scared of how my legs look.... she saw legs that had no skin and could see all my bones and muscles. It is so very hard to see her fall apart like this. But she retains her sense of humor.... she is truly a delightful woman in so many ways.
Tomorrow we start physical therapy twice a week. I hope that goes well.
Thank you again for being here. My whole family is super worried about me and really encourage me to have your support through this. (I had cancer a decade ago, and they are quite protective over me.)