I second this...
@1prettymess ! ! !

No doubt you are a warrior, inspiration and full of perseverance. As a result, you may be your own worst enemy.

I fought quite hard before consenting to try partial disability. I was so concerned about letting my employer and employees down, my husband and children down, losing income/benefits, missing my customers, my routine...the only way of life I had ever known. I completely failed to realize that I was allowing myself to be let down by constant pain, confusion, anxiety. depression and fear.

Reality was that I wasn't performing up to par in any aspect of my life so, essentially I was letting others down. Unable to perform up to my potential as a worker, a wife, a mother and it frustrated the crap out of me. Now throw pain in the mix!

My plan was to figure out my health, fix it and live happily ever after. Didn't work out that way and me being the control freak I was thought I had all the answers. NOT.

Don't want to make this about me because it's about you and I truly hope you will cut yourself some slack. No-one in your position who is suffering in this way should have so much looming over them. Pain and not knowing what comes next is bad enough.

Keep reaching out for support and help. Its ok to do so and own the fact
that you need it and deserve it.

All my good wishes to a very strong woman. Keep the faith and if nothing more, we are hear to listen.

Rachel