Life after oncoplastic lumpectomy: dealing with fear of recurrence

Posted by jixs @jixs, Dec 25, 2023

Dx. DCIS 2/2022. Had oncoplastic lumpectomy/8 wks of radiation. I have the PALB2 gene mutation... which increases my chance of breast /Overian /Pancreatic cancer.
Not doing hormone therapy... Could not handle side effects.

Get breast exam every 6mos. Mammo or MRI.

After my first MRI they saw "something"... Could be scar tissue. Off I go for Ultrasound.. Tech could not be sure if it was scar tissue. Told to wait 6 Mos and do another MRI. Results of MRI... Yep there are areas of concern... Lymph node looks bigger (?) and there is a small small spot that is concerning... Biopsy scheduled 1/8/24.
Here I thought it was worth at all cost to keep my breast. Now I see things different... Before this moment I had a very high level understanding why a woman would decide to remove both breast. NOW... I can clearly see the reason.

I did not kno that after the oncoplastic lumpectomy.. My breast would look different on the inside and every little thing that is seen could fall under the heading "oh... That due to the surgery" or "That may not be the surgery but the start of cancer"
I'm not freaking out... Concerned and due to what I have experienced thus far... I'm realistic.

My wonderful oncologist said.. " It's probably nothing... I'm. Not to concerned"

Yet those where the same words uttered to me 9/2021...when they saw small specks of calcium near my nipple on routine exam... "It's normal to see this in women over 50...it probably nothing.. Come back in 6mos.. My guts telling me it's nothing"

Could I possibly have cancer again!? Wow... Evertime I say that to myself... I just shake my head...

Just venting...

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myoga | @myoga | Dec 26, 2023

I had lumpectomy before finding out that I carry brca2 mutation. Can't bring myself to go through mastectomy. Not that I care about keeping the girls. I'm just scared of the the surgery and it's not a guarantee that cancer won't come back or metastasize. I'll have my second MRI next month. Hope it's clear. Venting is good. Thanks for listening.

jixs | @jixs | Dec 26, 2023

Since the cancer I have had 3 surgeries which includes having my ovaries removed. The last thing in thinking of is another surgery. Every 6mos you live cancer free until that MRI or Mammo. But I just realized that I should not fall down the "what if" rabbit hole during that time but give thanks for what I take for granted. Yes vetting is good.

myoga | @myoga | Dec 26, 2023

Wow! You're more courageous than me. I had the bso and that's about it. Let me know how your biopsy turns out. Hope all is good and we continue to live and vent.😀

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