Morganjane, I can absolutely relate to your post. I started having back to back panic attacks out of the blue when I was 47 (am now 72) and was put on Paxil which worked wonderfully (I felt better than before the panic attacks) for 20 years. Every so often I would try to get off of it but no way. Then it gradually stopped working while I was trying to get off of it. I think maybe these drugs only work for so long in some people. I'm very familiar with the brain zaps, etc. and at age 72 I am still having them. No one can tell me why. I am still on Paxil because even though it doesn't (totally) work I can not get off of it. I want to stress how hard I've tried. My situation is different from yours in that I'm not barraged by the withdrawal symptoms daily and have been taking ketamine infusions and lozenges to help with my anxiety/depression. You are definitely not alone. Oh, an important addition: a few years later when I was again trying to withdraw from the SSRI with a naturopath to guide me, it was again a disaster which really suprised her since she claimed to always be successful in getting her clients off SSRIs. So she tested me for several other things and found out I have high (off the chart) Lead and also mercury levels. If you want to talk more about this please write back. You're the first person I've "met" who is going through a similar thing.