Hello @1pjf and welcome to Mayo Connect. Sharing our stories with others on a forum like this can be really helpful. It allows you to connect with others who care. Just putting your story into words is a great first step in clearing out the years of abuse and neglect.

Not all cases of child abuse are remembered as an adult. Especially if the abuse happened during the pre-verbal stage of life or if the abuser used drugs and/or alcohol to numb the awareness of the child.

I would encourage you to visit some of Connect's other discussion groups in the Mental Health support group. Here is a link to those discussions,
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/mental-health/
Often when abuse happens at an early stage in life, mental health issues are diagnosed in adulthood. If you have a mental health diagnosis, you might find discussions on that topic as well.

It's important to develop a healthy group of friends that can help to take the place of the unhealthy family where you were raised. Are you developing a network of healthy friendships and support? Do you have a therapist that you can talk to on a regular basis?