I was diagnosed at 50 and completely relate to your post. Somehow I have managed to get a Masters degree and I finally navigated the process of becoming a licensed counselor at 63. But it took a LOT of support. There is often little understanding and validation even among mental health professionals.
As time goes on I still struggle with embarrassment related to disorganization and other ADHD symptoms.
For women, additudemag has simple test plus some resources if you search
self-test-for-women-do-i-have-adhd,
Glad to have found this group!