Oh @verol65, I am sorry to hear that you find yourself repeating the the scenario with cancer concerns again this year. I, too, had a second cancer diagnosis a year after I had completed my chemo and surgery. The wind came right out of my sails. . . it took time, and I was able to breathe in and out, and start in again. Thankfully, the second diagnosis was not the same kind, and rather on the baby-side of cancer things. A hysterectomy took care of the tired uterus.

Breathe in and out. There is nothing more you can do to change the situation, but just move through it. And you will. :). I often find that when my mind is fixed on other things, the bad thoughts have a way of being "pushed out", because I can't hold all at once. I purposely go hug a few of my grandchildren and almost drink in their sweetness. One moment at a time. One Christmas at a time. hugs to you, and Merry Christmas back!