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Unfortunately, it is soooo true what you've shared about seeing doctors who are dismissive, whom we grew up to think would have common decency and concern (if not compassion) for at least pursuing, if not ultimately resolving, our lived symptoms/conditions.
We are going to them, living these symptoms/concerns, and subjecting ourselves to dismissiveness, coldness, and invalidation, only to continue on the treadmill (if we still have the energy) to find a professional who is capable and will take on the need to find answers. And, on top of this, I'm not even talking about serious, chronic conditions.
I cannot imagine, and frankly (after another dismissive, what-should-have-been regular visit) don't have the emotional energy to consider how on earth a person is supposed to deal with this Sisyphean task of getting professional, effective care when they may be at their worst in the midst of pain and sickness?
The lack of accountability for compassionate, competent, effective care is disheartening, to say the least, and borders on the criminal ("gross negligence"), I should say, in the worst cases.
Why must we fight these emotional battles, on top of the physical ones? (Because we have no choice.)
Here's to enduring the struggle to be heard, and attended to in a professional, competent and solution-oriented manner.
Replies to "Unfortunately, it is soooo true what you've shared about seeing doctors who are dismissive, whom we..."
in reply to @brandysparks You could not have said it any better.
Last year I submitted a grievance to Sutter regarding my gastroenterologist who essentially threw me out of his exam room when my questions to him became "too complicated." I was in the middle of a sentence when he stood up, opened the door and said, "go in peace." I said, "What? I am not finished with my final question." "GO IN PEACE."
Now the guy has removed me from his service and I am left trying to find another stomach doctor who will perform the colonoscopy and endoscopy that 4 out of 5 of my doctors keep telling me I need. Guess who does not think I need the test? Go figure. In all honesty, it is not as thought I want the test, who wants these tests?
I may never get either, and that is just fine. Gross negligence is a great term that you have used. I was in the insurance business for many years, handling the worst kinds of claims you could imagine, including medical malpractice claims. Many of them were just "stunningly horrible." While I have given thought to filing my own medical malpractice claim, I will not, because I know once someone does something like that, no doctor will touch them. It's really quite sad. Begging for answers, pleading with nurses who shield their doctors from messages sent by patients like me, saying, "ask your PCP what the test result means." PCP says, "I do not know what they mean, I will have to ask the blood doctor." I say, "I have asked the guy already, and his nurse told me to ask you...."
You have expressed my feelings to a T. I feel just like a number….maybe just one of hapless cows with the unfortunate future of going to slaughter. I I am beginning to realize that none of those esteemed physicians I have had the pleasure(?) of seeing just observe me clinically, give their assessment, and send me on my way. I leave their office, pretty much shell-shocked with the realization that absolutely nothing more can be done to relieve the pain I’ve been experiencing for 17 years.
Sooooo, here I am. Maybe if I was young, I could deal with failure a lot better; however, I’m in my twilight years, dealing with a spouse on his way to Alzheimer’s. To put it bluntly, i am very much overwhelmed at the slings and arrows life has decided to throw at me.
I am a Christian and pray constantly, and I know God has a plan for all of us. I’m just finding it very difficult to realize, THIS just may be His plan! I sure hope not.
At any rate, I am trying to deal with this the best way I can, which, basically, is pretty piss-poor. I don’t sleep much, hardly eat, and plod along. It’s Christmas. Aren’t you supposed to be joyous? Hmmmm….
Bottom line is (I know I’m rambling), I would like to actually FEEL good…..to be happy, and (somewhat) pain-free, but in today’s medical environment, I’m not sure that’s possible when you sometimes feel like an inconvenience with a number stamped on the top of your head.
After this second denial from Mayo, i have come to the conclusion to just TRY to give my worries and fears to God - easier said than done, trust me. Meanwhile, I’m hoping everyone has the merriest Christmas they can. I’ll try to do the same, but at this juncture, not real sure that’s possible.
I am done pontificating about my misery. I could go on, but I’m pretty sure you just might have nodded off by now.
Til we communicate again…..
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PS - to be sure: this general experience has nothing to do with Mayo.
I only have good, encouraging, and supportive things to say, and share, about Mayo Clinic Connect. And the doctors I am able to make appointments with so far are not part of the Mayo system. I am not within a reasonable distance of the Mayo system, or I would definitely feel confident in calling upon their expertise.
Wishing everyone well - especially in this season, and these times!