Connect
← Return to Caregiving and Working Overload: Have to make tough decisions
Discussion
Caregiving and Working Overload: Have to make tough decisions
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jan 14 9:29am | Replies (28)Comment receiving replies
My husband was taken by ambulance to ER four days ago with a ruptured appendix and a very serious infection. He was unable to use his legs, talk coherently or reason. Today he was much improved and appeared to be pretty much his new normal self. The next step is to place him in a rehabilitation facility. I have tomorrow to find him a suitable place not too far from home. Today I visited one and it was not where I would want him to be. It was dark, noisy, smelled like urine and is in a renovation process.
My husband and I had plans to have Christmas dinner at a friend's house. I am not excited to attend. It will be the first Christmas away from each other.
My husband's daughter is of great support and help; we communicate very often. She loves her Papa very much and is concerned I have a big load. It is her strong opinion Papa should be in a rehabilitation placement and or in long term care. That I have cared for him for so many years and it is time to delegate. I am 76 years old and now my 6'6" 200 pound husband has greater needs and there is only so much I can do.
I meet with my support group twice a month and our coordinator has been very instrumental in this process.
Our neighbors and friends are also offering their help and being supportive.
Replies to "My husband was taken by ambulance to ER four days ago with a ruptured appendix and..."
Rehab is always short lived and for an acute/specific reason but not respite care. When I cared for my mom with dementia I started out with short stay respite stays at a variety of facilities. A weekend stay, few days, etc. it was a good way to check out facilities and to get respite for me. She eventually went into an assisted living for about a year and her dementia worsened so we had to move her to memory care. Eventually she went into the hospice unit there before she passed. It is a long hard journey for everyone. I wish I had sought respite care sooner than I did.
Connect
It’s never an easy decision to make. But it’s great that you have supportive people to help with the decision. Perhaps see if they can help research facilities.
I live in a very rural area. I’ve already decided that when my husband needs to be placed I will have to choose quality of care over convenience. I don’t like that he will be so far away that I may not be able to visit him - and he won’t like it either. But I do want him to have the best care possible.