I'm sorry you are struggling. You're not alone, many of us have been in the depths of it and feel as you do right now. Sounds to me like you're working hard to advocate for yourself and problem solve. Keep up that good work and give yourself some grace, You recognize that your psychological state will improve with physical abilities. Even though it's hard, try to dig deep and purposefully look for what it is you CAN do in the moment verses what you can't. Can you actively use yours arms to lift a can or water bottle for some conditioning? Can you do legs exercises while laying in bed? Something that helps you feel like you are accomplishing physically activity may help.