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Something I left out of my initial narrative regards communication problems. What I've called "aphasia" is her inability to come up with the proper words to communicate her thoughts. And she obviously still has some very valid thoughts buried in her mind. She especially struggles on proper nouns--people and places. Many times the words come out as gibberish, and she seems unaware that she's not communicating. In addition, she had difficulty processing other people's speech. We've gone the audiolotist route and spent megabucks on hearing aids. Didn't really help, and she eventually fought wearing the devices. What is frustrating is that it is often obvious that she's trying to commnicate real information and real ideas. She gets angry at me, because I can't always interpret what she's trying to say (actually I do pretty good), and, especially, that I don't speak clearly. The latter might be true, but other people seem to understand me. She gets especially frustrated in groups, because she can't keep up with the conversation. We worked remotely with a speech therapist, but that obviously wasn't helping. There are no speech therapists within reasonable travel distance, and I'm not sure they deal with the real problem, which seems to be neurological short circuits.
Replies to "Something I left out of my initial narrative regards communication problems. What I've called "aphasia" is..."
I so appreciate you sharing the journey that you and your wife are on with communication problems. You are in a difficult situation since there does not seem to be a diagnosis that will neatly fit your wife's problems. I'm sure you are being far more effective than you realize and I'm sure that if your wife could communicate with you, she would also be appreciative of your efforts.
Have any of the doctors and/or speech therapists recommended reading aloud? This is a technique I used after my surgery for a paralyzed vocal cord. It does make a difference. It can also stimulate cognitive processing.
Here is a link to some articles on the benefits of adults reading outload. You can see that it does help with memory in different ways.
https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=592660282&sxsrf=AM9HkKlgTjaFt5i9qRV0o_xBUwKOzJOFTQ:1703115552647&q=Reading+aloud+benefits+for+adults&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwizvpfsl5-DAxVSkyYFHWGCCrgQ1QJ6BAg_EAE&biw=1366&bih=599&dpr=1
If your wife was a reader, or had an interest in certain topics that might be a good place to start. Perhaps you can begin reading to her and then see if she would like to read after you stop. It could be just a sentence at a time to start and just see how it goes.
Singing can also be a way to bypass, so to speak, communication and cognitive difficulties. Prior to the pandemic, I was involved in a therapy choir. This choir was mainly composed of adults who had closed head injuries. However, there were some autistic individuals as well. I recall one autistic young man who would never say a word, but he could get up in front of an audience and sing one of his favorite songs from a Disney movie. We were all impressed with the ability of music to transcend communication barriers.
These are just some ideas that you might try and see if your wife is able to respond and/or at least, enjoy them. I would enjoy hearing from you again. You don't need to go through this alone, Connect is here to "listen" to your thoughts and feelings as you travel this road.
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@harleyshaw, there are several aspects to your wife's challenges with communication. I'm tagging a few people who may have thoughts from different perspectives.
@julieo4 lives with hearing loss and is familiar with people's resistence to hearing aids even without the complication of aphasia or cognitive impairment. Sometimes hearing loss can be the sole contributor to cognitive challenges. Other times it may be a contributor, but not the root cause.
@hopeful33250, often takes part in aphasia related discussions. You can see a list of those discussions here:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/search/discussions/?search=aphasia
In particular, I think you'll see familiar situations reflected in this discussion as well as helpful tips and support:
- What strategies help you cope with behavioral changes in loved one https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/cognitive-impairment/
It must be a challenge to not react when she gets angry when she feels you're not interpreting or understanding her correctly. I bet you are doing your best and have a high batting average for getting it right. Are you able to blame the disease and not get angry back? Hard to do all the time. Some of the time counts too. 🙂