I found this article a few days ago on the Medium site, and saved it to my "library." I thought it might be of interest to many,
https://medium.com/on-the-couch/to-tap-your-full-potential-heal-your-shame-wounds-795b0e01f045
I have spent a lot of time and money to "evolve" away from my family, or rather my remaining sisters who still abide by the "family rules." At least once every few months my sister, the one who still speaks to me, will say, "look how much time you spent in therapy, and all the money you wasted, where did it get you?" I say that it got me to a place where I accept myself, I have more compassion and a sense of humanity than I have ever had in my life. I am forgiving, even to those who ordinarily I would not forgive, like my partner who absconded with my retirement account. This is an especially hot topic for my sister who is always reminding me that I could be living in a much better place if not for, "her," Many in my shoes would be very bitter, but I choose not to because doing so just isn't how I am wired. I am humble and happy just where I am. I may live paycheck to paycheck, but I am happy, finally.
My sister, who I am dreading seeing tomorrow, has turned into a walking zombie that I no longer can have a discussion of any importance with, including this awful disease that has invaded my body. When she suggested to me on Friday that she thought I was angry with her, we should take a break. I responded that I was not angry, but rather anxious because I am being tested again for multiple myeloma. NO response. And to think that she is waiting for her demented husband to fall over and break his hip before she makes a decision to put him in a facility before she has a heart attack. As I told my doctor last week, she really should just push him over. Madness.
I keep thinking about this buddhist quote I read last night: when you get to the other side of the river, drop your canoe, because you no longer need it. I wonder how close I am sometimes.