in reply to @birdielox You go girl! Your post made my day! I could write an entire book just about my teenage years and how my parents dealt with the lone rebel. I am the youngest daughter of three kids my parents had, my sisters are 8 and 10 years older than I am. Suffice to say that I was the "surprise." I loved school, and like you I was also very smart, perhaps too smart, because I was easily bored with my classes. Learning was easy for me. In high school my art teacher took me under his wing as he recognized my talent, and he became my mentor and favorite professor. If you have an artistic interest or outlet, I would encourage you to pursue it, as "art" can be an antidepressant all by itself. When I am doing my art it almost feels like I am in a cave, and I do not want to come out. When I do come out of my cave, I stagger to bed in the middle of the night. Find a good friend so that you will be "witnessed". A close friend is important to someone your age, and I was fortunate to have a best friend whose mother became my surrogate mom for many years.
I understand the money spent, as I did the same thing, regrettably. Hang onto it, as you might need it later if you ever want to go further in life, like to college like I did. Make a list of your dreams, I still do this. I just bought a sketch book and every day I draw one thing, anything. It does not have to be perfect. I started painting a mural on my wall and wrote the following, "Her whole life changed the day she began talking about the things that made her happy." Maybe you could write this down on a piece of paper, or even your bedroom wall.
I may be 62, but I am still a kid at heart sometimes, and I think you are a terrific person just for the mere fact that you found this website and posted something. That takes a lot of courage and I applaud you.