In our case, my 75 yo husband, S was dx w MCI and at first we didn’t know what to say to others. But for years I had people ask if he was ok? Do I notice anything? And we would just say “ getting older.” “Slipping” “ Oh that short term memory is going!”
This year We decided to start the journey with evaluations of geriatricians and neuropsychologists leading to sleep studies and driving test.
For us, telling others, at first a few at a time, felt better.
It is a disease after all, and if it was cancer we would be telling people.
S has not been diagnosed as dementia yet. Somehow that feels better. He tells everyone that he has been dx w cognitive impairment. A frequent response is “I would never know. You seem fine. “ or they say to me “ He seems fine.”
It’s hard because what they don’t see is the whiteboard, the daily, hourly reminding, the fact that I now take care of everything. He drives to a few familiar places and I do the rest.
We went on a cruise this Fall. He did great but we told people, and met many “in the same boat.” Everyone was helpful and understanding when S would get a little lost.
He knows this will progress and that we are thinking short term about long term care.
We are enjoying each other as much as possible, although there are days like this morning, where we got in an argument that will go nowhere and just leave us both sad. He will forget and I’ll beat myself up for even going there.
In a nutshell, I am learning this is so different for everyone.
In our case it’s an open book and no secret and would be hard to disguise or conceal.
We kiss each other good night. He loves that. A kiss or hug is very healing.
My heart goes out to all of you. And thank you for all of your sharing.