@treglaser
First, let me assure you that you are NOT whining. You are frustrated as many of us are or have been!! I have had Fibromyalgia for many, many years. I cannot tell you how many docs did NOT believe it even existed! It was my doctor's wife (who was a dentist) who had an article in her dental journal.

HERE IS MY PERSONAL OPINION
I believe to start with your PCP and to keep your PCP fully up to date with all you are going through. Today, many doctors have some sort of a portal where you can email. This is a good way to keep him/her up to date without having to pay for another visit.
As far as seeing specialists, I SUGGEST a couple of things.....
1. Do your OWN research. There are at least 4 sites that rate doctors based on patient opinions. For me, that is more important since the treatment patients receive would be more like what I would receive. It appears to me that docs treat docs better. Anyway, I only deal with docs that have the highest possible ratings. Sometimes, lower ratings are due to the office staff. Although they do not take physical care of you, they do care for lots of things you would need them for. Therefore, if the staff gets a poor review, I also stay away from the doc.
I am willing to travel (by car) 1 - 2 hours to get the BEST medical care.
2. If possible, try to get into a 'medical group' that has multi specialities. This was, you might be able to see partners who can access your records easily. This is also true for doctors who are a part of a hospital or medical group like Kaiser Permanente.

Finally, there is no need to feel embarrassment. More people are experiencing doc visits as you are. As far as emotional hurt and disappointment, move ahead and find someone else who might be able to help you. Dealing with health issues is a journey, not a sprint. It takes time to find the right people who can help you. They are out there! Sadly, it takes time and good insurance. We are here to support you so when you are having a bad day, just jump on line and vent.

In the meantime, perhaps there is someone in this group who lives near you who might have some recommendations.

PS...Just remember that this is NOT your fault. It is NOT the fault of anyone.

Good luck and I pray you have a pain free day,
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)