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Managing Bipolar Disorder

Mental Health | Last Active: Dec 22, 2023 | Replies (40)

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@jonsi

Hello friend,
I also struggle with all of the above. I rapid cycle frequently when unmedicated, meaning I'm manic one minute then suicidally depresses the next. This can happen for a couple of weeks to a few days to a few hours. The most important life changing thing I've done is to get a good provider and to find the right medication combination. It's absolutely changed my world. I'm regularly medicated, I'm religious about taking them. Vraylar and lemictal have been my magic combination. At the first signs of mania I take a three day dose of clonasopam (a benzo) to slow it down and it works a treat. It took about six months for my doctor and I to find what works so I would say get a good doc (this is so important as not all providers are good at what they do, my previous was less than helpful) and try and try and try until you find what works for you.
I also come from a community who do no take mental health seriously so I understand. My family behave as though it doesn't exist even though I've struggled with it from as young as my early teens and I'm forty two now. It's possible you may never get the acknowledgement from family, but that's okay, you know what you need to do for you.
I'm also fairly antisocial. I have a small group of people I seek support in more like affirmations. I say hey, I'm having a hard time, can you send me some good vibes because I could really use them. Then I get some supportive statement and I feel better. They don't have to understand, they don' t even have to know what I'm dealing with, just a little kindness helps.
If you are a creator, and many of us are, I'm a writer for instance, dig into your work. If you're manic and you haven't got a full hold on it, dig harder. It helps to channel your energy into something positive. If you are depressed take it hour by hour my friend. Sometimes that's just the way it is, you decide to survive and you know, absolutely know as this is your condition, that it will pass. I've attempted suicide twice so I understand the appeal of what I call self-mercy. The trouble is, you don't know what your life could become. Some beautiful thing could be right around the corner and you never would have known. Hold onto that idea. There is good to be had, this is manageable. Best wishes to you, you aren't alone in your struggle, always remember there are others just like you, myself included.

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Replies to "Hello friend, I also struggle with all of the above. I rapid cycle frequently when unmedicated,..."

Wow - thank you! Beautifully written and expressed!

I can almost see myself in your descriptions, though as far as diagnoses, I've not been diagnosed with anything further (yet) beyond "dysthymia". I am summoning the strength to continue to slog through the murky waters of the medical system to find a medical professional who will "see me" - truly - if only within their 10-15 min visit allotment - and assist me in making my internal life more fulfilling these days.

Just as of yesterday I had yet another invalidating experience with a doctor visit - this time, just an ENT doctor for long-term congestion, GERD issues. Without going into more detail, it is so consistently dehumanizing to meet with a doctor who has no time for detail, your lived experience (symptoms), let alone conversation/intelligent discussion about what may likely be going on. Instead you are spoken to with their back to you, symptoms dismissed, and they can't walk out the door fast enough.

But I believe my sister, who has struggled in ways you have - a suicide attempt, and other ways that I can only guess at - may have had a bipolar diagnosis along the way.

Thank you for communicating your journey - it really, really helps.

Best wishes...