to CW000 - this is Mulkey 518 - I truly understand your fear. I was off the hook when I just got my recent diagnosis of Breast Cancer Angiosarcoma. I prayed, cried, asked for prayers, begged for prayers, read the Bible (which was not a new thing) and refused to read up on the work "Angiosarcoma" because the Medical Oncologist had already told me that the cancer was Rare. Well after I did my crying and all I got tired of the same daily thing - so I conditioned my mind in that this is the battle I have to go through now. I has helped me a lot, but It is still ok to get into your feeings, but just don't stay there too long. When I was first diagnosed with Cancer I joined a very great support group called "ABCD" (meaning After Breast Cancer Diagnosis). They pair you with a cancer patient that has the exact type of cancer and treatment that you have. I had a great mentor and kept in touch with here for over 3 years after my cancer treatment. But when I got my new cancer treatment I went back to ABCD to try in get in contact with my old cancer mentor and to no avail - and also, they could not pair me with anyone that had Angiosarcoma because there were no patients in the group that had that tpye of cancer. However, you may want to google the organization to see if they have a mentor for you. Also, there is another support group called "ImermanAngels.org - Request for a mentor". You need to belong to a support group. God is Blessing you right now. Believe in the powers of Prayers. Believe is the operative word.
I will be sending prayers up for you.