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How do I grieve an estranged family member?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Aug 16 8:25pm | Replies (34)Comment receiving replies
Estrangement is is so difficult--and often the "causes" just don't seem make sense and are murky. I've found this in my own family. A question--do you want to grieve your estranged daughter-in-law on a personal or social/ritual level? If the second, you might follow your usual customs/beliefs--prayer, giving charity, burning a candle--whatever usually gives you comfort. This wouldn't be too personal but just a ritual you might follow for anyone. If you want to remember her in a more individual way, then the added grief of estrangement comes in and you might want the support of a grief group (most funeral parlors have them and can refer to counseling) or to talk to a clergy person or counselor. I personally feel grief affirms our relationship to the deceased while having to let go as that relationship has now changed. I wish you all the best. As others have said here, you can still take care of yourself and family you are connected to.
Replies to "Estrangement is is so difficult--and often the "causes" just don't seem make sense and are murky...."
Thank you
I plan to attend a grief-share group. I did love her. I tried so many times to re connect. This is so hard.
I hear you about the "causes." Several of the estrangements I know about are about ridiculously petty things. I know of some where one of the people just wants to have a "chosen family" from their own generation and shuns all of their biological family for no "cause" at all. For me, a person that really values family, that is all very very sad. You are right that we just have to find acceptance and comfort in whatever way we can.
@mir123 Earlier this week was advised of the loss of a sister. Needless to say, the manner in which I received the news was a shock to my system, estranged, toxic family of no emotional support and no longer have mental health services because they no longer accept my insurance. How do I navigate?
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Thanks for your reply.
Yes I am trying to do more self care and relaxing.
There is a grief share group at a church near me. I was also in therapy and was just recently released because of my progress. Shortly afterwards she passed away suddenly.