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Senior anxiety: How do you manage new on-set anxiety as you age?
Mental Health | Last Active: Jun 17 10:42am | Replies (103)Comment receiving replies
I had a terrible traumatic loss in 2011, my 23 year old daughter, and as I age (I'm almost your age now) the anxiety disorder I acquired as a result is worsening. Overall it seems I'm in excellent health for my age but small things are starting to go wrong, like dry eye, hearing loss, now I have an anal skin tag out of nowhere and it's destroying what's left of my quality of life.
I sold my house when I lost my daughter and it was a mistake because I moved into a condo for 62+ and I hate it. I don't fit in with these people, I'm world traveled, very educated, owned two houses, single mother BY CHOICE, ran a consulting business, etc. and this loss I experienced put me into another dimension of reality from everyone. I'm alone all the time. I've been alone since she died, that's twelve years. I'm thinking of putting an end to this but I don't have the courage.
I never envisioned myself this old. It's horrible, I hate every second of it, and I'm terrified of the future because I will never go live in one of those places that stockpiles old bodies until they die, never. It hasn't been worth it, none of it, this life hasn't been worth it.
Replies to "I had a terrible traumatic loss in 2011, my 23 year old daughter, and as I..."
I'm 82, have suffered the loss of siblings and friends, and experience gnawing anxiety and depression about what lies ahead. If you're like me, you can't believe how fast time goes as you age. To help chase some of the gloom, I joined the choir at my church, putting me in touch with about a dozen friendly people. That move has helped me. But I still have a demon in my head that feeds me negative thoughts. They obsess me. I think about nursing homes, death, and sundry other cheerful topics. However, medication helps to suppress these thoughts. I take a highly effective tranquilizer that makes me feel normal. Be aware, however, that most physicians are wary of this remedy because it can increase the risk of falling or having a traffic accident. Soon, I will be seeing therapist who, I hope, can extirpate my demon. I hope you find a way to rejuvenate your life. You must be a good person to care so much about your daughter's tragic death and to carry the memory of her into old age.
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It seems you've not been able to come to terms with the loss of your daughter some 12 years ago. Such long, constant and intense reaction to your loss would likely turn anyone into myriad health issues, mental, physical, and even social, as your state of loneliness attests to. Have you not sought any professional help yet?
I seriously hope you look after yourself in ways that make YOU less prone to these host of issues which often mean even less capacity to counter afflictions. At 80, I do everything almost daily that would ensure me live alert and independent.
The apartment bldg I live, and most condo dwellers, do NOT get to meet other inhabitants. Only co-housing and to a lesser extent, co-ops provide more contact with fellow dwellers.
But it does not mean your chances to meet the world out there is foreclosed. From community centers to libraries and coffee shops, book stores and yes the meetups, they all provide opportunities for all ages with range of interests. I, keep exploring, though I have not developed personal bond as a friend yet. Since you had such a rich life, Not sharing it with another person would be a shame -- certainly a loss for people around you.