I get so angry I get so frustrated I get where I just want to hurt myself and hurt others around me. After they take my kidney out on the left side, they told me that I couldn't take my medicine anymore and that's ever medication that I could take because if I took any of them but it was killed my only kidney that I have left. I used to frustrated I just don't know what to do sometimes and my irritability drives me mad. I see things, hear things other people don't. And it irritates me. I stay suicidal all the time, but can't seem to do it to myself because of the fact if I did it to myself I know that God wouldn't take me home and I want to go home to heaven I don't want to go to hell so that's what keeps me from it right now. I get where I feel so alone, I get where I feel like I have no one to talk to you. And I know that really I do have people around me that care about me but I feel like if I open up and talk to someone that they're all just going to hate me. I honestly didn't never think about reaching out to get help since I took me off my medicine told me there was nothing that I could be put on because I only have one kidney I gave up but my husband is doing time in prison so I'm trying to hold on and fight to survive to make it till he comes home and it's hard especially when you're always sick. You're always weak don't have the strength to even raise your head half the time. Do you just have one give me or do you still have both. If you have only one kidney I wonder if they can put me on the medicine that you are on.