Staying fit in advanced age

@gracer, I wonder if you might like to join the Virtual Walking Group here:
- Let’s Go Walking! Join me for a virtual walking support group
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lets-go-walking-join-me-for-a-virtual-walking-support-group/
I'll get us started with some tips:
- Eating well: have ready-made healthy snacks available like cut up veggies and hummus dip or apple and cheese. If I have these things available and ready to eat, I don't grab the salty crackers or cookies or other not-so-healthy options.
- Physical activity: find people and activities you enjoy. If you like doing it, you're more likely to stick to it. Doing it with others helps, especially on those days you don't want to work out.

Grace, have you returned to the pool or yoga?

My husband and I were part of the YMCA. Here’s my story.

A couple of months prior to Hurricane IAN hitting Florida, my mommy’s cancer worsened and I alone with my Beautiful Husband worked together with my siblings as caregivers but being the oldest and not working most of it fell on us. She passed away in August.

October that year we ended up in Florida as first responders which helped me with grief management. To make a long story short we assisted in Florida until mid December, rested at home for 2 weeks later and then headed to Illinois spending the holidays with our kids and returned home mid January.

Being so preoccupied I thought those things helped me with the grief process but I still had my moments. Lord, we wished someone would have told us when you get older your body gets stiff and aches and it takes you a little longer to get back to normal after being on the road for a while. We were like whipped noodles.

By the way this long story appears to be not so short as stated earlier. I apologize for lying. 🤥😁 Let’s get this over with.

A few months after returning home my husband’s mommy who was in the nursing home at the time fell and broke her hip. Had to have hip replacement surgery, blamed us for everything wrong in her life so on and so forth.
That was a very painful experience because she was a narcissist and if anyone ever had the opportunity to experience life with a narcissistic person it is a soul crushing and scarring experience. (We are still detoxing 🙏 needed).

Out of respect for my husband I will not go into the painful details we encounter trying to advocate for her but up until her death this August we didn’t go to the YMCA nor did we go when my mom cancer became worse.

Ending in sight.😁 Really.

August 2023 was a spiritually difficult time for us:

My mother died a year ago in August, my mother n law died this year in August and both died a few days short of our anniversary date in August. 😭 Just reflecting on it makes me shed tears. Give me a moment need to get a big hug from Beautiful Husband hug 🤗

🕰️Twenty Minutes Later clock🕰️

Grief had its grip on us some kinda bad and we were just trying to get through each day and detox from the pain of losing our mommies, the untold family toxicity on my husband’s side, my health issues, siblings issues on both sides, lord, lord, lord,!

Now I am getting to the YMCA part. Finally you say.🙄 I know. I know. Those dam Life happenstances.

🚙🚙🚙🚙🚙🚙🚙🚙🚙
We were driving to Home Depot’s one-day to cancel an appointment for a renovation project they seem to didn’t have contractors for. 🙄 Service has seriously gone down.

We were reflecting on our lives and health. I had experienced several falls due to ongoing back and nerve pain so exercising is a no, no at this time in my life.

My beautiful husband is a worry wart and he doesn’t want to be far from me so he works around the house for fear of me falling.

Beautiful Husband during the drive home said we need to celebrate our anniversary. We have to get back to enjoying life together. We need a road trip. I yelled, “Yeah, road trip!”

At that moment the Y popped into my head. I said, “Honey you know it’s been a year since we been to the Y since momma got sick and not once did they call us to see if we were dead or alive.”

Y’all stick with me. I’m almost done. 😁

He replied, “Yeah, every health club I been a member to in the past when I missed a month or so I received a call to see what was going on.” It’s been a year and no one’s call?!

Clarity was returning, a good sign for those of us floating around in grief’s shadow grip. He suggested that I give them a call to request a membership hold.

So, I called the Y. I had a piece of paper to write down what I needed to do. I spoke to a young lady and asked them to put our membership on hold. The young lady said the only way to do that would be with a doctors notes and supporting medical records detailing that there is a medical reason and it should state how long it is expected to last. They would review it and make a determination whether to put it on hold. She provided the email to request the hold and to upload the documents.

I emailed them directly giving the name of the person who I spoke with. I expressed my displeasure with the option given to put memberships on hold. I also expressed that I was concerned that for a whole year not once did they reach out to the members to determine reasons why we weren’t coming in. Being that they have numerous elderly members like ourselves it’s not uncommon that illnesses, nursing homes entries, caregivers, or deaths occur. I expressed concern that based upon our experience it clearly obvious they don’t care about the members they only care their money. I asked what if the member passed away would you have refunded the family the money back?

I went on to write that It is because of the elderly populace the Y is able to keep its doors open when many of their facilities have closed due to low enrollment. We did not ask to refund any money we just asked for a membership hold. We don’t work for you and don’t owe you no doctor’s note to hold a membership.

It cost nothing to walk, watch YouTube exercise videos or use Local Community Center Resources. Therefore, cancellation is in order. Thank you and good bye.

Here is their reply:

“ We offer the option to put your membership on a medical hold for up to 3 months. By doing this, your membership would automatically renew again after the number of months you need. With it automatically renewing this way, you would not need to go through the rejoining process again. If you would like to go forward with this, please provide us with a doctor’s note or an equivalent form of verification for the month or months you wish to place your YMCA membership on hold. This doctor's note does not have to contain personal medical information for hold processing. You can email a copy of it to.”

We stuck to our decision. They would have kept taking our money and used the doctor’s notes as way to fight in the event a refund was requested.

I am not anti Y but I just want to make sure we as elderly are aware of this to make better informed choices for our health and financially supporting our health wellbeing.

😅 Whew!! Thanks for hanging with me if you read this long winded post. If I made grammatical errors please forgive me, my fingers laid down and said no more when trying to make corrections.😂😂

Live, Love ❤️ and Laugh 😂 till the end enjoy your life journey.

Sorry to hear about all the grief. It's especially difficult to deal with complex finances and negotiations when you've been through so much. I don't really know what the policy of the Y is on putting a hold on memberships, but I'll find out. You probably know that many Medicare Advantage insurance companies (Humana and United Healthcare) provide membership as part of their coverage. I think we now have about 10,000 members at our Y in a community of 25,000 but we live in a tourist area so we get a lot of drop ins too. At any rate, best wishes for good health and a pragmatic solution to your workout needs.

If you haven’t played pickleball please check it out. Take lessons and you will meet people and learn where everyone is playing. I am a very competitive person so I never play in any games except open rec. You can play as hard as you like. I have knee issues and monitor how much I play never more than 3 games at a time or two days in a row. Pickleball satisfies the need for exercise and for social interaction a win-win game.