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Why my father can’t walk after a fall he had in December of 2022.

Posted by lmg1 @lmg1, Nov 14, 2023

My 91 yr old dad had a fall down a few steps. He had mri’s and everything checked. All was good. He was walking, driving and capable of everything up until this fall. Was in the veterans rehab hospital but we took him out and we are his caregivers now - he would not be alive now if we left him there. I saw an article here on FND and it sounds like that. He walks with a walker but needs assistance. He’s now walking less and seems to be deteriorating. He does not have dementia. I just wish I knew what could it be and I don’t want to hear that he’s old. Something happened that day and no dr knows. And mind you, he smoked at the age of 16 and once in the hospital he never asked for a cigarette and still doesn’t. It’s all just a mystery. Wish I knew where else to go to have him checked.

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gently | @gently | Nov 21, 2023

lmg1, It is clear that you are expressing the best of what beleza and jetnasky suggest, all from the depth of your feeling for him. You are talking to him, listening to what he wants, making great efforts to help him and enjoying your time with him, all without giving up.
Bless you both

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lmg1 | @lmg1 | Nov 21, 2023
In reply to @gently "It's quite pleasant to hear your love for this man. I do approve his answer to..." + (show)
@gently

It's quite pleasant to hear your love for this man.
I do approve his answer to a lot of things.
I'm sending this link for consideration mostly because of his fears, depression and loss of strength. The medications for depression can be confusing.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15084139/#:~:text=In%20a%20placebo%2Dcontrolled%20trial,depressive%20disorder%20in%20older%20males.

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Thank you!! I’ll take a look at this!

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lmg1 | @lmg1 | Nov 21, 2023
In reply to @jenatsky "I feel you need to give your old dad a break about returning to his old..." + (show)
@jenatsky

I feel you need to give your old dad a break about returning to his old self. Falls for older folks are much more difficult to recover from and the older you are the harder it is. You didn’t say whether he broke anything in his fall other than his self confidence. He may or may not recall how he fell and does not want to repeat that adventure again. In addition he went from the hospital as an inpatient (I presume) to an inpatient rehab facility which are both disorienting. Now you’ve taken him to your home and I again presume it was not his prior home, again disorienting for him. I’m not certain of what your expectations are for your 91 y.o. dad but just the fact that he recovered whole from his most recent fall is a plus. Savior the days you have with him while you still can and don’t place your expectations on your dad that he may be unable to meet. Have you asked him what his expectations are at this point in his life?

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Hello, yes, I know he won't return to his old self but I was hoping he would be able to walk on his own. That's what he wants to do but his desire has lessened. I know he's tired and we are just trying to keep him healthy and moving a little at least. He did not break anything and his fall was down our home's inside steps. Something happened right before he went down the first step because he grabbed on to the curtains that are near the steps. My brother could not get him up so we called the ambulance. He was all checked out just hurt his arm but not broken. He then came back home but I believe he had another fall just on to the floor - did not hurt anything and was saying he couldn't move his legs. We then got the VA ambulance to take him to the Veteran's Brooklyn Hospital and after that he went into rehab - which he was just going downhill there so we took him out asap. He bounced back so much better being home and started eating again. We are making the best of it. Thank you for your reply. Happy Thanksgiving to you!

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lmg1 | @lmg1 | Nov 21, 2023
In reply to @beleza "Sometimes what we want to happen is not what our parents want to happen. It is..." + (show)
@beleza

Sometimes what we want to happen is not what our parents want to happen.
It is not an easy time for all of you. Enjoy your time with your Father. He has a mind of his own, bless his heart. Just talk to him.

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Thank you so much! Yes, we always want more but they are set in their ways. Yes, we are there with him all the time. Happy Thanksgiving to you!

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briarrose | @briarrose | Nov 22, 2023

Img1, first, thank God your 91 year old Dad did not sustained a hip fracture in the fall...so very common and, in the "senior seniors", unfortunately contributes to their passing down the road.
Yes, he certainly might have sustained a brain concussion. Concussions don't always show up on a MRI.
I am living proof of that. There is no question, in my humble opinion, he now has a fear of falling. Also very common. I am living proof of that and I am 68. I too use a walker now and hate it! But it's necessary.
Perhaps PT is called for now? I had a concussion in a fall, hitting my head in 2019 and my "brain" is still not right. Some memory loss, saying the "wrong" word at times (but I do realize it after I say it). And my fall opened up an ugly can of migraine problems which I never had before. So I am still paying the price for my fall since 2019 and I was 64 when I fell. The fear of falling is very real and will certainly "disrupt" all aspects of your life. And at 91...that's a lot! You might be seeing some personality changes now, again all normal. Bottom line - at his age, having a fall...he is never going to quite the Dad he once was. And you must realize this and accept it.
Do what you can for your Dear Dad. You will be so glad after he is gone...you did all you could. Don't pressure him for sure...my sense is you are not. Reach out for professional help in every way. There might be something that is being missed to help him. But for you personally? Accept what is right now to help lower your own stress level.
The very best of luck to you and Dad!

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