@neri47 Hi Dottie. That is a common pattern of ignoring and not comforting a child in despair. The parents are emotionally absent as you say and may be wrapped up in their own issues. My mom went as far as to minimize my fear of doctors and dentists and ask me if I felt foolish for being afraid. I was very afraid and I passed out more times than I could tell you and she made me feel ashamed. That was my brain trying to protect me when my blood pressure was rising because of the stress from fear. The body suddenly relaxes all the blood vessels to lower pressure, and then the brain doesn't get enough oxygen to stay conscious for a few minutes until the blood pressure normalizes. It was something I could not control when I was young, but I could tell when it was going to happen.

I would encourage you to write your book about why and how. ( I wrote a manuscript about my journey through deprogramming my fear. ) It is very freeing to do that. You will gain some insights. You already have insight by realizing that your parents could not cope. Forgiving them for that will also let you grow past being caught in that child parent relationship where you had no voice. Invisible no more! Now you make decisions for yourself and do not need their parental consent. They will probably never understand or accept responsibility, but you can overcome this and metamorphose into a beautiful butterfly. Take your new wings and fly.....

Jennifer