First thank you for your service. I mean that sincerely. As a Trainor of Chaplains for Living Shield Ministries , which especially focuses on serving First Responders, I understand that those most likely not to share they are struggling... are First responders and military . You are trained to never fail. Your personal traits like responsibility, trust, service to others. Compassion , etc and all you see as you seve ... all make you more vulnerable to PTSD. Then facing all you did with cancer , is understandable that it was difficult and may still be for you even 7 yrs later. I know I have times still that mess with me. Especially
at the bi yearly scans and tests. Thank you for sharing your struggles. I have great respect for that. I do hope you can find someone to talk with about this though. To process all of it with. Most departments have a peer program, or Chaplains now. Maybe you could reach out. Even retired they may be able to give you some time. It'll take courage to do, I know, but you've got that with all you've been through. Praying for you! Take care of you today!