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← Return to Failures - how do you cope?
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Very inspiring, thank you. I agree about the importance of purpose. I think what happens with my son is that - since he has been a perfectionist and at times an over-achiever - he’s become over focused on results rather than the process or the effort. He volunteers with several community groups but in his dark moments professes his frustration and despair at not having power to “make a difference.” He’s applied for various jobs and when he doesn’t get them becomes discouraged and says that nothing he does makes him feel any better. As others - especially mgrspixi25 - have noted here this is a destructive pattern. And I know that only he has the power to break that pattern of negative thought - something that I have told him as I’m sure his therapists have as well.
Replies to "Very inspiring, thank you. I agree about the importance of purpose. I think what happens with..."
It's one thing if someone like me overcame with depression and other ailments of the age -- I'm 80 with no mental health or general health problems probably an outcome of living a lifestyle that is mot conducive to achieve what I wish in my remaining years. It's very hard to see those in the prime of life who are fallen into conditions but that respond well with healthier lifestyle. (As U notice my impetus for healthy lifestyle is spurred by my larger purpose)
Now since your son seems to have experience (besides education), is he not able to sell his "achievements" to potential employers? In my case I was able to have the best jobs only a few years before retirement because of lack/minimum years of North American experience.
While work is a big boost to one's sense of self, there are two other things that also dampen the depression severity: friendship and nutritious food with general physical activity. Since he volunteers, he likes the work too, and so there is already a possibility of friendship with other volunteers or with people helped, right? It's one thing I'm constantly on the lookout Every day. Tomorrow I'm going to introduce 'wordle' game in a social at local library and will try my luck at public lectures. So far no success, but as the last lines of the Great Gatsby reads...'tomorrow will be another day, boats against the current....' Struggle is the other half of what makes us hope for pleasant surprises, right?
Good luck to both of you.
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It's got to be tough to deal with.
I understand the desire to make a difference. I spent my whole career on that mission. I was in corporate training, and I wanted to make stuff better -- jobs easier and more fulfilling, profits better, waste reduced.
The thing is, it's really hard to know what difference you're making. Yes, I had projects that measured huge improvements. But most of the time, I had to do my best and let it go.
And sometimes in life, the "difference" is totally unexpected. After my stroke, the last thing on my mind was that I would become a motivational speaker about recovery. But it's happening. No one is more surprised than I am.
Even Jesus didn't know the difference He was making. Some seed lands on fertile soil, some rocky. It's impossible to predict what grows. So you do your best and have faith.