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Where do you want to grow old?

Posted by Colleen Young, Connect Director @colleenyoung, Sep 7, 2023

People have many options for living arrangements as an older adult, like living in a house with a group of friends (think Golden Girls), going to a 55+ community, or staying in your own house.

What are your plans? Where do you want to grow old?
or
What choice did you make? What are the the pros and cons of your arrangement?

What advice do you have for others?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

jmcmurdo | @jmcmurdo | Nov 8, 2023
In reply to @SusanEllen66 "I currently live in a very active, over 55 community with 4000 homes of all types...." + (show)
@SusanEllen66

I currently live in a very active, over 55 community with 4000 homes of all types.
I have a single story condo, that has an HOA fee covering all outside stuff. I don’t have to worry about the garden, roof, paint etc.
There are no stairs anywhere in my condo. I have a walk-in shower with grab bars.
I am going to be 74 next month. I don’t know how that happened! lol
I live alone right now and that makes me happy. I dread having to change my living arrangements in the future.
Frankly, my son is not a caregiver. He has problems of his own. I don’t have the money for a residential home. So my future is not secure. It’s a bit scary.

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Your condo and community sounds awesome. Where is it? How did you find it? 🙂

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1 reply
SusanEllen66 | @SusanEllen66 | Nov 8, 2023
In reply to @jmcmurdo "Your condo and community sounds awesome. Where is it? How did you find it? :)" + (show)
@jmcmurdo

Your condo and community sounds awesome. Where is it? How did you find it? 🙂

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@jmcmurdo it is very nice. I’m in Arizona in a suburb of Phoenix.

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thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | Nov 9, 2023

I visited two facilities that provide independent living. The best thing I can say is that I was not impressed. They are not at all like the pictures you see in their advertising. I am glad, though, that I was able to do this as it confirms my resolve to stay in my own home. If and when I need assisted living I will hire my own caregivers. Looking at the amount of rent these facilities charge, I would probably spend less money. And, by the way, the rents go up each year.

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kikib | @kikib | Nov 9, 2023

My husband and I (65 years and 67 years) are contemplating either making our current 2 story home liveable on the first floor (just adding shower to half bath) or find a smaller ranch in the area. What weighs on my mind was not living near my parents in their later years and going to care for them for a week each month (trading off with sisters) for 12 years. It was exhausting while also working at the same time and I don’t want to put our daughter through that. So moving closer to her is another option but we are torn because our lives are here. So many things to think about!

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kikib | @kikib | Nov 9, 2023
In reply to @thisismarilynb "I visited two facilities that provide independent living. The best thing I can say is that..." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

I visited two facilities that provide independent living. The best thing I can say is that I was not impressed. They are not at all like the pictures you see in their advertising. I am glad, though, that I was able to do this as it confirms my resolve to stay in my own home. If and when I need assisted living I will hire my own caregivers. Looking at the amount of rent these facilities charge, I would probably spend less money. And, by the way, the rents go up each year.

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I agree, I found them too depressing!

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rdr123 | @rdr123 | Nov 9, 2023

Aging well begins in Your head! Have a positive mental attitude, it will get you far when things go south. I am 78 years old and very happy for the most part. I have not had sex in over two years (wife sick). I am way to smart to have an affair but I think about it.

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1 reply
rdr123 | @rdr123 | Nov 9, 2023

I am going to a VETERAN NURSING HOME NEAR WHERE I LIVE! I have LTC insurance but I want my wife to use all of it when she needs it.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Nov 9, 2023
In reply to @rdr123 "Aging well begins in Your head! Have a positive mental attitude, it will get you far..." + (show)
@rdr123

Aging well begins in Your head! Have a positive mental attitude, it will get you far when things go south. I am 78 years old and very happy for the most part. I have not had sex in over two years (wife sick). I am way to smart to have an affair but I think about it.

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@rdr123 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I like your posting ‘aging begins in Your head.’ So, you're a veteran? Can only veterans go to veterans nursing homes?
Can you tell me how to found Connect?

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wascaly | @wascaly | Nov 10, 2023
In reply to @kim4 "I live in a one story house with grab bars in the shower and other safety..." + (show)
@kim4

I live in a one story house with grab bars in the shower and other safety upgrades that I made over the years. I am however very lonely here and I have no children. I am considering moving into a CCRC for the social programs, the services like housekeeping, gym and most importantly, the medical supervision that they offer. These communities are expensive so, I am worried about making the right choice.

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Having made my above statement about living in a 55+ community, my son (who lives right outside Orlando, FL), says the HOAs dues can be as much as $400 per month!
Guess I’ll rethink my decision……

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pianist3 | @pianist3 | Nov 10, 2023

Hi, everyone! I have really enjoyed reading all of your comments on this post. I’m 56 and my husband is 73. We live in a regular one story house in a nice area (Arrowhead.). We love living 10 minutes from Mayo, they really are the best! That being said, I have concerns for our future and since my husband has many health needs right now, it is always good to have a plan B, even a plan C and D! Many people my age don’t think about their futures, but seeing my two sets of parents age into their 80’s now, makes me want to plan more than ever. My father and step-mother live in their own home still in Newport Beach, Ca. It’s a two story home and so far they are staying put, but we worry about them falling with climbing stairs every day…although maybe living independently (and stubbornly, ha) keeps them more independent and determined. Whereas my mom and step-dad just moved into a very nice, expensive CCRC in San Diego…to the tune of $500,000 entrance fee and $8,000 a month rent in top of that. They also had to sell their 4,000 square foot gorgeous home and now live in a 1,200 square foot apartment with a view of the parking lot…. I’m not sure that it’s worth it? However, my mom is loving the social aspect and meals cooked for the daily. They also don’t pay more for long term care or skilled nursing down the road should they need it. I’m thinking that staying independent seems and feels more natural, then downsizing and living smaller as we age. I’m thinking it all over…but most likely, I would choose a senior community over living alone (if I’m likely a widow one day.). I do think that social connections help us live longer…. Maybe I can keep my house and rent an apartment in a senior community and have the best of both worlds! Lol! I do plan on a long life, as both my grandma and my great grandma lived to 💯! I do like the Cohousing living communities as well! I’m hoping and praying 🙏 I’ll make the best decisions at the right time, and I’m very thankful you all chimed in with great ideas! Blessings to you all!! Mia 💕🙏

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