I was on 75 mg effexor for hot flashes since menopause, more than 15 years. I weaned myself off twice, but I was not able to withstand the crushing anxiety which occurred about two months after stopping completely. Apparently, I am now an anxious or depressed person who cannot go without this drug. I am back on the lowest dose, 37.5, as of this week. My doctor says if I am not feeling better in 4 to 6 weeks, I can go back to 75 mg per day; that it takes awhile to become effective. In the meantime, the last two months have been hell: I am shaky inside and out, eat and sleep little. The only thing that really helps is trying to keep my mind busy and my body moving--housework, yard work, exercise, etc.--while I would prefer to sleep.
My heart goes out to you. You have not been off effexor for that long, so you may regain your sense of self sooner? The decision about children must be between you, your husband, and your doctor. I wish you all the best.